I'm back!

Blogsville, a nam ekene unu o! I'm back after my very long hiatus, and I apologize for being away for so long.

This is a very short note; I'll be back later tonight maybe or tomorrow to truly update.

Have a great evening y'all!

Okay…That Was Awkward and Weird….

Apparently I'm really immature because I wouldn't let a dude bite me on a second (official, at least) date. Very weird experience, I must say. Remember the guy I said I was in serious like with? Not anymore I'm not!

I met IE in the library (one of my friends teased that it was doomed to failure for this) while poring over some organic chemistry. IE and his friend had come over to the area I was sitting in and proceeded to begin a discussion in French. I had turned to see who was making that racket, coz that chemistry was whooping me at the time and I needed to concentrate; I was not appreciating the noise. I was busy contemplating whether I should tell them – very politely of course – to stop making noise, or if I should just move, when IE walked up to me and asked if I was from a francophone African country. When I said I wasn't, he replied that he thought I was because I turned like I understood their conversation. So anyways, we struck up a simple conversation and I found out he'd moved down here a few months ago. I was involved a lot with international students at my school, so I'm always interested in meeting new ones, and we hadn't had and Ivorian students at my school. Before he left we exchanged numbers.

IE called me later that night and we chatted it up quite a bit, and the following day (at the library again; MCAT no be beans) he asked me out on a date. We had fun on the date, he was really nice and sweet and attentive. We hung out a lot, mostly at the library coz he was studying for an exam too. So on Monday last week, IE calls me up and says it's been a while, that he wanted us to spend Wednesday evening together. So on Wednesday we rented some DVDs, got some food and went over to his place.

I've told IE I don't drink at all, and that's just a personal choice, but when we got over to his place he was bugging me about drinking some wine at least. I insisted that I didn't want to (especially since I'd gone to his place for the first time and I needed to be clearheaded. I'm a little paranoid – I have 911 on speed dial, story for another day). We forgot about that, started watching the movie. Halfway through the movie, IE has adjusted positions again and again, and now his head is in my lap. I really didn't think much of it, until I felt him biting my thigh! I had to insist, very firmly, that he stop. I mean dude, nothing before, no warning, and you're just going to bite my thigh? I don't think so.

So IE gets, up, gets a can of beer and seems to be sticking to my request (for lack of a better word). Then he tries to play tonsil hockey, with some beer breath (I'm sorry, ugh), and I didn't want that. He then decided that trying to bite me, again, was a better option. He tried this again, much HIGHER on my thigh this time and at this point I got REALLY fed up. I told him I was ready to go (Unfortunately, and very stupidly I should add, I didn't drive down, he'd come to get me), and that he needed to get me home. At this pt he's like "how old are you again? Oh yeah, 22. You're so immature." I'm looking at him like 'what?' Dude continues on, "You won't let me kiss you, rub you, bite you, what's wrong with you?" I was quite surprised, to say the least. For some strange reason (I wonder as I look back on it what was wrong with me too), I was even explaining to the dude that I had my personal reasons for not wanting him to feel up on me that way. He asked if it was because I'd been hurt before by someone, and I agreed (not going into detail coz that's TMI), and that was my second big mistake.

IE finally gets his keys and we get into the car so he can go drop me off. He then spends the whole ride home tell me to get over myself and get over it – it being whatever or whomever hurt me in the past – and not in a sensitive way I might add. IE is 7 yrs older than me, and I felt every one of those seven years in that short ride home because he talked to me like I was some little girl. Lekwanu mu ihu nsogbu, if I wanted a lecture, I'd call one of my two older brothers for that, I so did not need that. Talking about I should be more open to change by trying to drink, and allow some things to happen, basically, have sex with him (n***a, not going to happen with you that's for sure). Once we got to my place, I told him straight up that we could not have a relationship. At most, we could be friends. I don't see that happening either. I got into the house and was like wth just happened?

He called me today and it was just very awkward. He finally said "Uhm…my mum is calling me from Africa; I'll call you back when I'm through with her." He hasn't called back since then I'm relieved. Another sign it never would've worked out: his mum was calling from Africa (spoke like it's just one big ole country)…I kid, I kid.

So, do you think I sabotaged it, or do you agree that IE shouldn't have been expecting so much from me so soon? Either way, the 'serious like' is gone. I'll be back to my library tomorrow, and I'm hoping he'll stay away like he's been doing for about a bit now; I still have to hit my books, and I die before I leave my spot because of some guy.

Ka odi nu.

I'm Back...Kinda!

People of Blogsville, a nam ekene unu o!I decided to take a break and come update...I'm tired of studying; body no be firewood!

So much has happened in this short time (please allow me this one delusion) that I've been gone. I've experienced a smorgasbord of emotions; I felt like everyday just came with something new for me to think about.

So where do I start? Let's see...I'll begin with the good news. To start off, I FINALLY graduated! I thought for a bit I wasn't going to, because I had to deal with a whole bunch of craziness! From stressing about paying off my balance to dealing with some crazy professors, I came up against a whole bunch of obstacles. God did it for me though, and I made it...and Summa Cum Laude too! My parents couldn't make it, but my aunt came over, and my brother and friends made me feel very special :)
The only downer the whole weekend (apart from missing my parents and my younger brother) was receiving a text message from a certain cousin. He was the one who did most of the harm when I was younger and he texted (coz I missed his call, thank God) like nothing ever happened. So if I had answered that call what would he have said? Just acted like everything was fine and dandy? I was surprised to find that I'm still a bit affected by the situation. I thought I was over it...Oh well.

More good news...the people I interned with last summer offered me a job and even told me to go ahead and focus on my MCAT. They basically told me that I should just let them know when I want to start and they're willing to work with me. I'm just very happy about this coz it was so out of the blue, just when I was contemplating my future jobless existence...the job search was not working out for me. I feel so blessed!

In addition, my friend is coming over this summer from Moscow so I get to see him! We haven't seen each other (in person that is) since high school. It's weird that we were not really close in high school but now we're best buds...he has been my rock through so many situations. I hope I don't act a fool when I go get him at the airport.

And just when I thought I couldn't get any happier, I got the best news of all. Remember how I was talking about how much I missed my mum and brother coz I haven't seen them since O4? Well I'm going to be seeing everyone this summer! My dad just got posted to New York and they are going to be here for the next 3 yrs! So I get to see my parents and bro anytime I want to! I can't wait to see my mum in particular...I've missed her so much! I think I'm going to cry when I see her or make a total fool of myself in public, but I don't care. Plus I get to call home whenever I want? That's just too much for me now!

My little period of absence hasn't been all smiles though. Two of my close friends lost their dads and I just felt so sad. You know how it feels when someone you care about is hurting and it literally hurts your heart? It was so sad, and I felt even worse because I couldn't really do anything about it. They are feeling better now, but I know it'll take a while before that hurt is gone.

There was also a whole lotta trouble at home; from the idiots in my dad's family (and some of my cousins form my mum's side) treating my mum like dirt to my brother getting expelled (although the principle says it was indefinite suspension now, so he can get back), things were hectic! I just can't wait for my family to get here; they need to get away from all that drama.

Oh well...I think I've rambled on enough. I'm even feeling a little sleepy sef (that's my excuse for going to bed instead of back to the books).

Ka Odi nu.

P.S I'm in serious like with a guy right now. I hope I don't sabotage it; let's see how it goes....

Very Brief - but long overdue - update.

Hey everyone!

I know I've been away for waaaay to long; I've just had a lot going on (okay maybe not so much that it prevented me from blogging, guess I was just being a slacker). Sorry it took me so long to reply the comments on my last post *looks away shamefacedly*

Anyhoos, I'll be back with a proper update soon and go on my blog rounds. I'm back to studying for the MCAT again, so forgive me if I don't catch up right away.

Nodi nu ofuma!

Boarding School Stories I: The Bully (Long Post Alert)

I was just thinking about how I had all these crazy – and sometimes life changing – experiences in boarding school and I decided to start blogging about my boarding school experiences. I decided to start with the one story that had everyone wondering about me after the 2T1L meme. I'm trying to give the whole story here, so it might be a little long, bear with me.

I was an SS3 student, eager to write WAEC and be done with secondary school; I just wanted to get out of that hellhole (that was how I felt about my school at the time). This one girl whom I shall call Bolo had become a friend over the earlier months of the second term. I don't know how it happened but we became pretty close. She was in SS2 at the time. It was surprising for me because I'm not one to become close with someone easily; I'd found that I was too trusting and I'd had one too many people take advantage of me. Anyways back to the story.

I can't remember clearly if it was second term or third term but we were told to get our money for the WAEC exams and some other fees. I went home and got the money from my dad, it was about 5000 naira I got in total, and my dad had decided to add a little pocket money for me too. I got back to school pretty late that evening from home (the woes of public transport in Nigeria), so I couldn't pay or deposit the money with the teacher who 'kept' my money for me. I decided to hide it in my koala bear bag; nobody but me, my school daughter and Bolo knew that the koala bear actually was a bag, it just looked like a stuffed animal to everyone else. I locked the bear in my locker for the night. The only times I left my corner that evening were when I had to use the restroom and I made sure my locker remained locked.

The following morning I went to get my money to pay for the fees and it was gone! Not some of it, all of it. I called everyone in my dorm together and started questioning them to see if anyone knew where the money had gone or if they had seen anyone suspicious activity around my locker or corner as a whole. The majority of the people indicated that they hadn't seen anything and they didn't know anything about the money. A few people, however, indicated that they thought Bolo was responsible. I didn't believe it at all; Bolo wasn't even in the same dorm, and she was my close friend. She wouldn't steal from me, and I hadn't even told anyone that I got any money from home. Sure one or two things had gone missing in the past, but it surely was because I was somewhat careless. Those things hadn't been stolen, had they?

I had a lot to think about, and I had to get that money before it got spent. Things were hard at home; my dad couldn't just come up with that amount of money just like that. My school daughter had spent the night in another dorm; I hadn't even seen her till after I discovered the money was lost, and people could vouch for her, so that eliminated her. I decided to call Bolo and talk to her, to find out if it could be possible that she did that. Bolo came over and before I could even get around to saying anything she was already getting an attitude with me. I decided to play it cool so it wouldn't be like I was abusing power (I was deputy head girl at the time) or trying to jeopardize our friendship. When we finally got around to really talking, she started with the theatrics: she got angry, she cried, she used every emotion that ever was. I was feeling bad until she said, "I don't know why you would think I stole your 5000 naira." I was like ermm…seeing as I never indicated how much was stolen, and it wasn't the exact amount for the WAEC fees, how would she have known how much was stolen? I didn't think rationally, I just saw red. I still gave her a chance to confess but she wouldn't so I started administering corporal punishments, and I told her to come get me when she decided to tell the truth, and then left the dorm.

My mates decided to take over where I left off and she still wouldn't tell the truth. Finally when I got back one of my mates asked her and she confessed. She then proceeded to boast about how she'd spent part of the money. I felt so betrayed and humiliated. In my mind, she had played me and I just couldn't bear the thought that someone close to me had betrayed my trust. I saw a deeper shade of red, lost my temper, and hit that girl. In dorm then if you were a thief, you would get in a lot of trouble. Jungle justice, as it was called, would be administered. After I had hit her, my anger was somewhat sent, so I left and went to another dorm and slept. If I'd stayed there, I might've wounded her, I was that angry. I don't know what happened after that for the rest of the evening.

The next morning I was called to the principal's office and once I stepped in I was told to kneel down and then I was just slapped and beat on. Nobody even told me what I'd done wrong, and in my daze I didn't think back to the issue of the previous evening. Finally me and three other girls were told that we were heartless bullies and that we had wounded Bolo so bad that she needed stitches on her thigh. She claimed that the three other girls told her to sleep on the top of the locker room and she'd fallen and cut herself. I was held as the instigator. That day was hellish for me. I was beaten, flogged, my hair was cut, I was paraded around the dorms as a bully (with my hair cut and my back bloodied from the vice principal flogging me), and then to top it off, I was suspended.

What hurt me the most was that Bolo walked around with a smirk, still spending that money and boasting about how she'd taken care of me to everyone. I found out that she'd stolen before (which is weird since her parents were stinking rich). She never paid a dime of that money. Heck, my dad even sent her money when he got posted outta the country. My dad was so disappointed in me…he said I'd embarrassed myself and ruined my "spotless school record". He took exception though to the fact that the vice-principal had beat me so much that he'd left scars on my back and arms. The man just always had it out for me and just used that as an excuse.

Before I left that school, the other VP (the one who cut my hair) called me and apologized. She'd found out about Bolo's criminal past, and she'd inspected that locker room. She said there was nothing in that locker room that would've caused that type of injury. She though it must have been self-inflicted. She said she shouldn't have pushed for me to get so much punishment and that they overreacted. It was cold comfort for me; the damage had already been done. There were worse cases of actual bullying that didn't receive such punishment or attention.

So yeah. That's the story of how I became a bully in secondary school. Looking back on it I probably shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I also learnt to pick my friends more carefully after that!

Nodi nu ofuma!

A Poem….

Thanks everyone for cheering me up, and leaving words of encouragement after my long-winded rant. LG, Mizchif, Roc, NDQ, Buttercup, and Bibi, I appreciate you all!

So, I was gonna regale you with some nice, funny post or story but I'm in school and my mind is not functioning properly right now. I decided to share one of my attempts at writing poetry with you instead (coz it's saved on my computer anyway). Be warned, it's a little depressing.

So here it goes:

P.L.M.

I changed my hue for you, Stuck fingers where they shouldn't go, Cut ties I didn't want to; I starved myself for you, Sacrificed my dignity for you, and lost touch with my true identity. The scars on my heart Became little scars on my wrists But I claimed they were paper cuts; In return, you belittled me, Stripped me of my confidence, and reduced me to nothingness. All the while I sent little notes, through my words and actions That you never seemed to receive. I'm not intelligent enough for you, Not pretty enough, and Not resourceful enough; I know I'm flawed to you, but once, just once, could you read between my lines? Could you read the notes I sent they all say the same thing; three little words repeated throughout: Please   Love      Me.   Erm…yeah. So I'm about to head out to class. I'll have something better posted soon k? Sai anjuma.

10 Honest Things About Me

I just realized today that I never did get around to doing this meme that Buttercup tagged me to do, so I'll do it now. (Plus honestly, I'm having a bad day and any other thing I write about will probably be extremely depressing).

1. I am the biggest procrastinator there ever was. I put off things till the last minute then I get stressed out about them. Not a good trait.

2. I am a chronic worrier. I remember a professor once asked me if I actually sleep at night coz I worry too much about things. In addition, I get caught in the little details too often (especially with academics)

3. I have serious anger management problems. I used to get angry ALL the time, and I felt like I had all this anger just pent up inside. I'm happy I'm improving a little, but I feel like the silliest little things set me off.

4. I LOVE cartoons, books, music, and food. These are my favorite things in the world. I love to try new food combinations especially. My favorite weird food combo: Bread and noodle sandwiches.

5.I am a certified klutz. My classmates and friends have dozens of stories about me falling or bumping to something. The worst was when I apparently left skid marks after falling in a corridor in high school. I always have to think of where I'm going and walk carefully if I don't want to humiliate myself.

6.I'm scared of getting into a relationship. I have self esteem issues sometimes, and I think I'm scared that I'll be inadequate. I have some residual fear from my days of being molested too. For now, I hold onto my romantic dreams I guess.

7. I cry over weird things and at weird times. I can't cry at a funeral, but I'll cry when I feel I've not done as well as I can with a personal goal. I think when I'm truly deeply hurt, I just hold it inside; this is a practice I started in my childhood.

8. I'm obsessed with earrings! I could be looking all raggedy (coz I don't have much of a fashion sense), but I have to have some nice earrings.

9. I have an overactive imagination. I have all these scenarios and conversations playing in my head a lot of times. My mind is always busy.

10. Family is very important to me. You mess with my family and you've messed with me big time.


That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...I actually enjoyed it a little I think.