Random

Hey! I was going to blog about my long-promised story of crushes, but I had this one course that I hate today, and it especially stole the joy from my soul today. I can't tell the story of my crush woes in this angry frame of mind. So instead, a short random post instead.

I finally got New York plates for Baby Cam (that's my car) yesterday. Don't hate me NY lovers, but it was a sad day for me. I love yellow and all, but why do the plates have to come in this UGLY mustard yellow color?? I miss my old tag already.

I met some Ghanian guy named Dave yesterday, and that's the 3rd Ghanian Dave/David I know. Do Ghanians just really like this name?? He was quite an interesting individual...he started out by telling me he's from Africa with this ''posh'' accent, but immediately he found out I was Nigerian, the konk accent came out. Why do people like to form sha? Then he asked me if I was scared of him (Such a tangent and I was wondering why); he said most people are scared of him. After that I just decided to exit myself from there sharp sharp.

I have a major exam coming up next week. Last chance to redeem myself and make sure I'm not repeating 1st year. Very nervous right now. Y'all pray for me!!

I don't know if it's just my class, but why in the world do some people think they're geniuses, when they really aren't?? You know what? That's the subject for a full fledged rant post coming up...I just finally managed to start lowering my bp, don't want to increase it again because of some moronic behavior.

Also, why is the weather extra strange this year? One minute is freezing, next it's ridiculously hot. I was excited, even brought out some dresses, and now it's cold again =(

i have friend who has really bad BO, but I'm not close enough to him and I don't know how to broach the subject w/o causing offense. Any suggestions?? Can't do the birthday present thing, his birthday is too far away....

Well, lemme stop rambling. I'm still in the pain-inducing class right now...I just needed to get away for a little while. Back to reality now.

Ka Odi Nu

Dear 2011

You have been an interesting year, for lack of a better word. I deferred putting up a post earlier on because I was just filled with so much negativity.

2011, you started on a wrong note. I don't think I remember ever entering a new year just filled with so much anger and sadness...the worst thing about it? I couldn't explain why I was overreacting to the littlest things that in hindsight, weren't even supposed to warrant so much emotional investment.

Could it be because I was dealing with feelings of continued inferiority, like certain people had previously placed me on this pedestal, this ridiculously high place that I couldn't possibly acheive, and it seemed like they were finally beginning to see the truth?
Could it be because this holiday felt like all the joy had been sucked out of my house?? Who knows.

Anyway, as you progressed it just seemed things got worse...I was witnessing my family starting to disintegrate; the tape hastily placed over the cracks at our seams has slowly been coming off...my parents might as well be married in name only. For the first time I saw my dad have an emotional outburst related to this, and for him to say the things he said...I was amazed. I didn't know what to say, and the worst part is that I didn't know how to explain that I didn't agree with what he was saying (but that's for another post).

I lost some people that I least expected I would, I got increasly depressed, I damaged my relationship for God, and I'm fighting to get it back. I also started doing very bad in school, just because I wasn't working hard; seems like I lost all motivation and drive.

However, you have been surprising me greatly recently...it's like the whole time I was shaking my fist angrily at you, you were working hard undercover and shaking your head at my impatience and stupidity.

I've gone from failing and almost being put on an extended curriculum, to passing all but one class last unti, which just happened to be the most challenging one for me.

I didn't lose my baby cousin, even though we had such a bad scare...we thought he wouldn't live past his 1st birthday.

I've had been randomly walk up to me and pay me compliments and just generally make me feel cherished. Most importantly I've had the importance of making me happy re-impressed upon me. I've had less problems with people, and I'm not so down these days. I'm also in the fight to get right with God again =)

So, even though things aren't completely great on the home front, I'm not as worried anymore...and even though not everything is ideal, I'm not worried. Why? Because, my dear 2011, there's a good track record developing here. The most important lesson you've taught me: to grow up. You've infused some more much needed maturity in me, and you've put a little bit more resilience in me.

So even though I didn't think I would, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm happy I waited to post this. I like our path, and I hope it continue to be exactly this way, with more lessons learned.

Daalu!

P.S Forgive any blunders, typing from my phone...just needed to unburden my mind...will be back soonest =)