Ndi Blogsville, E kenem unu o!
I know it has been ages since I last blogged….I feel like I always have to start a blog post with an apology because I never seem to post anything anymore. Anyways, I know you're that awesome and you'll forgive me =)
I've been wanting to post for a while now, but I've been hindered by a lot of things…time, school, changing my mind about things I wrote, not knowing if I had the courage to post some things I wrote, etc. I've just been grateful for my journal and some choice friends when times have been especially rough with me =)
First off, I must thank Ms. Mizchief…she wrote me a very much needed e-mail when I was going through my mini crisis this summer. I so needed it, and I'm so happy she took the time out to send me just what I needed. Daalu! I guess it's true that things sometimes have to hit that absolute low point, that point at which you have nowhere left to go but upward for things to get better. I definitely experienced that. I must say, this summer was a rough one for me…and the funny thing is I wasn't even the one directly affected by most of the events. It's just that when you live in a place with no peace, and you've already under an enormous amount of emotional stress, well you begin to let things affect you a lot more that they should. I'm happy to report that my parents are WORKING on their issues…I mean everything isn't all rosy now, but it's a helluva lot better than it was this summer. I think both my parents got to that low point and had some revelations from that: my mum stood up for herself a little more, and my dad realized that he couldn't keep accusing her of not making changes; he needed to make some changes too. I'm just happy for them and happy they're trying to get through stuff together.
On the other hand, there seems to be a little bit of a gap between me and my dad now…I don't know why and I can't explain it. I guess we need to work through some things I guess. I think he's disappointed about some decisions I've made and some things he thinks I've done. I don't know why, but for the first time I'm not on tenterhooks and trying desperately to fix everything. I was really sad about it for a while, but I'm giving him his space and I know he'll bring it up because that's his nature: My dad will NEVER talk to you about anything unless HE is ready to talk about it. My going to him really won't change anything. (Ugh, this post sounds depressing already…totally not what I had in mind).
So what else has been going on? I think my dear Madame Sting has been describing a huge portion of my life quite well. Second year of med school is a killer! I swear they're trying to kill people's kids. It's like they're trying to make us regret deciding on this career path. I have questioned my sanity many times in the last few months and I've been amazed by the tremendous change in some people (not all positive either).*musing to self* Ah, if only my back plan to be a roadside tomato seller would pay for these loans I took out *sigh* I don't know how it's going to work but something has got to give…I don't appreciate working more AND failing more…o gini? E jim ha ugwo? I'm still grateful to be done with half of 2nd year though! I'm terrified of the latter half, but I know I'll pull through somehow. I'm finally starting to prepare for the dreaded boards…y'all pray for me!
I have the hugest crush on this one boy whom I swear must know about it because he is constantly playing with my emotions. It cracks me up sometimes that he tries to act all innocent when he knows for a fact that he's up to something. I have tried to convince myself that it must be my ongoing infatuation with him that has me misinterpreting many things, but I sat and read our chats the other day (in an effort to blast myself into reality) and I'm convinced I'm not imagining things. I have been – quite successfully per my friend (and me) learning and training in the art of poker face. I must not be caught with a moony expression on my face! More coming on the story of my crushes soon.
I have become hooked on Korean Dramas! I happened to watch one series and I just became hooked. That was all I did when I wasn't shadowing this summer. It real helped me remove myself from a lot of the unnecessary drama going on in my house. I swear these people are hilarious! Is anyone else hooked? Because I need recommendations, tee-hee.
Oh well my people, I gotta run. I know this has been an extremely random post…I just felt the need to update, no matter how short it's be. I might be back with a continuation later =).
Be well, and compliments of the season!
Jishu nu Ike!
