A Poem….

Thanks everyone for cheering me up, and leaving words of encouragement after my long-winded rant. LG, Mizchif, Roc, NDQ, Buttercup, and Bibi, I appreciate you all!

So, I was gonna regale you with some nice, funny post or story but I'm in school and my mind is not functioning properly right now. I decided to share one of my attempts at writing poetry with you instead (coz it's saved on my computer anyway). Be warned, it's a little depressing.

So here it goes:

P.L.M.

I changed my hue for you, Stuck fingers where they shouldn't go, Cut ties I didn't want to; I starved myself for you, Sacrificed my dignity for you, and lost touch with my true identity. The scars on my heart Became little scars on my wrists But I claimed they were paper cuts; In return, you belittled me, Stripped me of my confidence, and reduced me to nothingness. All the while I sent little notes, through my words and actions That you never seemed to receive. I'm not intelligent enough for you, Not pretty enough, and Not resourceful enough; I know I'm flawed to you, but once, just once, could you read between my lines? Could you read the notes I sent they all say the same thing; three little words repeated throughout: Please   Love      Me.   Erm…yeah. So I'm about to head out to class. I'll have something better posted soon k? Sai anjuma.

10 Honest Things About Me

I just realized today that I never did get around to doing this meme that Buttercup tagged me to do, so I'll do it now. (Plus honestly, I'm having a bad day and any other thing I write about will probably be extremely depressing).

1. I am the biggest procrastinator there ever was. I put off things till the last minute then I get stressed out about them. Not a good trait.

2. I am a chronic worrier. I remember a professor once asked me if I actually sleep at night coz I worry too much about things. In addition, I get caught in the little details too often (especially with academics)

3. I have serious anger management problems. I used to get angry ALL the time, and I felt like I had all this anger just pent up inside. I'm happy I'm improving a little, but I feel like the silliest little things set me off.

4. I LOVE cartoons, books, music, and food. These are my favorite things in the world. I love to try new food combinations especially. My favorite weird food combo: Bread and noodle sandwiches.

5.I am a certified klutz. My classmates and friends have dozens of stories about me falling or bumping to something. The worst was when I apparently left skid marks after falling in a corridor in high school. I always have to think of where I'm going and walk carefully if I don't want to humiliate myself.

6.I'm scared of getting into a relationship. I have self esteem issues sometimes, and I think I'm scared that I'll be inadequate. I have some residual fear from my days of being molested too. For now, I hold onto my romantic dreams I guess.

7. I cry over weird things and at weird times. I can't cry at a funeral, but I'll cry when I feel I've not done as well as I can with a personal goal. I think when I'm truly deeply hurt, I just hold it inside; this is a practice I started in my childhood.

8. I'm obsessed with earrings! I could be looking all raggedy (coz I don't have much of a fashion sense), but I have to have some nice earrings.

9. I have an overactive imagination. I have all these scenarios and conversations playing in my head a lot of times. My mind is always busy.

10. Family is very important to me. You mess with my family and you've messed with me big time.


That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...I actually enjoyed it a little I think.