...and I'm really stressed out. I'm in full pre-exam panic mode. This isn't exactly helped by the fact that I have insomnia, which has lead to a splitting headache and the headache is exacerbated by having some king of illness since yesterday- allergies vs. cold, dunno (and in of my mind thinking shouldn't I be able to diagnose this?) - and I possible have stress induced diarrhea/hyperactive bowels alternating with constipation. Been sneezing so hard I'm having those tiny 'spots/stars' in my vision...in summary, trying very hard not to wallow in self pity because we all know that never accomplishes anything.
In the midst of this I decided to take a break and listen to music/look at old pictures since I can't call my parents this early, and I realized that I really had a huge head as a kid. Funny bcause I call my brothers 'big head' all the time. Denial is a hell of a thing huh?
Feel a tad bit better now...it the little things that help :) Can't nap anyways, so I guess I'm gonna tryto squeeze a little bit more info into my teeny brain. Forgive my rambling, this is the product of extreme stress abd trying to cope with it in a non-self pitying way....
Sai Anjuma
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Study Break!
I have my internal medicine shelf on Friday, and since I would rather walk over hot coals and slowly jab pins in my upper eyelids than read another words in MKSAP right at this moment, I decided to come blog!
I have been having an okay time of things in this last rotation, I guess. I've of course had moments where I continuously questioned my sanity and really wished that I wasn't in so much debt that I was stuck in medicine, but I genuinely think that something related to internal medicine might just be for me. I enjoy talking to people a lot (I mean, does it really get better than running my mouth all day and getting paid to do so? I think not!), and I think something about this last clerkship has struck a chord with me (/which is why I'm terrified I'll screw up this shelf exam and ruin all the hard work I put in...but suppressing such thoughts for now). Then again, this is just my second rotation so far, and I've enjoyed both of them, so who knows? As long as I don't end up being a greengrocer or pulling a Skype-from-the-village move, I think I'll be okay.
As you can probably tell, school is taking over my life, I have lost what little social skills I had, can absolutely not hold a decent conversation anymore, find myself sharing silly med student humor with people not even the slightest bit interested in it, and find myself bursting into inappropriate laughter, song, and conversation quite often theses days (yes, I choose to believe my sanity is intact and surely it must be the root-of-all-evil aka med school that is responsible for all my problems. Indulge me.) Thankfully my family is invested in the whole 'family-is-for-life' bit and are putting up with my crazy ways. My mum always makes the appropriate noises when I call to vent, bless her heart.
Well in other not-related-to-med-school news, I just noticed today that I've had only 5 posts this year. Five! I mean, I know I'm not a prolific writer by any stretch of the imagination, but this is just pitiful! I've had all these things swirling around in my brain, and somehow just never translated it to posts. I can't even blame it on not having time...I know many people much busier than I am who still write more than I do *smh* I need to come back and finish off all these ideas/semi-initiated projects I have.
Well, I'd love to ramble some more and stay steeped in denial, but I can't push off the studying any more. Please pray for me/send some positive thoughts/wishes/vibes if you read this. Thanks!
Ka odi nu!
I have been having an okay time of things in this last rotation, I guess. I've of course had moments where I continuously questioned my sanity and really wished that I wasn't in so much debt that I was stuck in medicine, but I genuinely think that something related to internal medicine might just be for me. I enjoy talking to people a lot (I mean, does it really get better than running my mouth all day and getting paid to do so? I think not!), and I think something about this last clerkship has struck a chord with me (/which is why I'm terrified I'll screw up this shelf exam and ruin all the hard work I put in...but suppressing such thoughts for now). Then again, this is just my second rotation so far, and I've enjoyed both of them, so who knows? As long as I don't end up being a greengrocer or pulling a Skype-from-the-village move, I think I'll be okay.
As you can probably tell, school is taking over my life, I have lost what little social skills I had, can absolutely not hold a decent conversation anymore, find myself sharing silly med student humor with people not even the slightest bit interested in it, and find myself bursting into inappropriate laughter, song, and conversation quite often theses days (yes, I choose to believe my sanity is intact and surely it must be the root-of-all-evil aka med school that is responsible for all my problems. Indulge me.) Thankfully my family is invested in the whole 'family-is-for-life' bit and are putting up with my crazy ways. My mum always makes the appropriate noises when I call to vent, bless her heart.
Well in other not-related-to-med-school news, I just noticed today that I've had only 5 posts this year. Five! I mean, I know I'm not a prolific writer by any stretch of the imagination, but this is just pitiful! I've had all these things swirling around in my brain, and somehow just never translated it to posts. I can't even blame it on not having time...I know many people much busier than I am who still write more than I do *smh* I need to come back and finish off all these ideas/semi-initiated projects I have.
Well, I'd love to ramble some more and stay steeped in denial, but I can't push off the studying any more. Please pray for me/send some positive thoughts/wishes/vibes if you read this. Thanks!
Ka odi nu!
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