Boarding School Stories II: A is for Agama Agama

According to Wikipedia, "Agama agama is a species of lizard from the Agamidae family, found in most of sub-Saharan Africa."

As far as I was concerned, in JSS 1 at the time, Wikipedia was absolutely right. When I was asked by a senior student (Whom I shall call Snr. B) in the hostel if I knew what Agama agama was, I confidently replied that I did, and even went ahead, in my typical ITK fashion, to explain that it was a species of lizard, etc, and that the she should find it easy to identify because those kinds of lizards could be found crawling on our dorm walls all the time. I felt proud of myself after answering the question. After all, it was because I'd been reading my older brothers' biology textbooks that I happened to know this information. I finished answering the question with a smile on my face, and even asked the Snr. B if she had any other question before I left.

So, in the midst of all the happiness, imagine my surprise when Snr. B's response to my detailed answer was a hot slap! While reeling from the slap, I tried to backtrack and see where I went wrong, to see if I'd missed some cues from the other students around who all suddenly seemed to be wearing matching smirks. I thought to myself that in hindsight, perhaps I shouldn't have answered the question in such detail, or perhaps I should have feigned ignorance. Maybe Snr. B was just mad because I told her something she obviously didn't know (After all, everyone knew she kinda was a dundee). However, it turned out that none of these factors was the problem. That became clear when B told me that she'd "show me what agama agama was" and that I'd "see fire today."

As it turns out, Agama Agama was actually a corporal punishment. Snr. B gleefully asked another junior student to demonstrate the punishment to me, and after seeing it, I began to think that I REALLY should have shut my mouth. Basically, you have to support your whole body weight on your elbows and the tips of your toes; So you lie down straight on the floor, then you cup your face with your hands, and then you push yourself up until all your weight is supported on your elbows and toes. Most importantly, your stomach, knees, and any other body part (apart from the elbows and toes) must not touch the ground. Each time one of those offending parts touched the ground, you got slapped, and 10 more minutes were added onto your punishment time.

For someone like me this was the worst punishment ever devised. I was a kpengele girl in JSS 1; I almost looked like a kwashiorkor patient. My huge tummy kept touching the floor of course, and when I tried to adjust, I was told that I was that I was making a V, and my back was actually meant to remain straight. I had no means of escape. I prayed and prayed for afternoon prep that day, until I realized it was a Saturday, so I wouldn't be getting any such relief. My arms felt like jelly; I'd never felt them shake so badly. Snr. B wasn't even looking at me or listening to me. I cried, I fell, I begged, I pleaded, I even tried bribery (Snr. B was also known to have anya ukwu; I was so sure that would work), all to no avail. After about 2 hours – the result of many 10 minute increments – Snr. B finally let me up. Those seemed like the longest two hours of my life. I made sure I told her how grateful I was (another lesson I had learnt in my short stint at boarding school), and promised that I'd never repeat whatever offence it was that I'd committed.

That was when Snr. B turned to me and said there was no need for apologies. I was feeling relieved until I heard the next statements out of her mouth. She said I didn't need to apologize, because I hadn't DONE ANTHING WRONG! She said that she'd had a bad day, and just felt like punishing someone, and I was just the 'unfortunate soul' that happened to work for her.

I walked off, fuming – on the inside of course, I wouldn't dare show any anger, for fear of receiving more punishment – and realized 3 important things:

1. Snr. B really was the dundee she was reputed to be. I mean, who punishes someone like that just because?
   
2. Things are actually funny until they happen to you. I bet if my older brother had told me this story, I would have found it hilarious –that was before it actually happened to me of course
   
3. Senior students were to be avoided at ANY cost!
   

Later on I would find out that there were many more interesting letters of the corporal punishment alphabet. That weren't necessarily as physically tasking this punishment was, but they were just as painful. That's a story for another day though.

 

To all the boarders/ attendees of ajekpako secondary schools, what was the equivalent of Agama agama for you?