Friday, May 23, 2008

No Dogs Allowed...

First of all, sorry I've been away for a bit...I don't have internet at home at the moment, so I am doomed to only using internet while at work (it's just an on-campus job, so no biggies)...the thing too get wahala sha.

After my terrible experience with a terrible (and huge) dog in the neighbourhood, I have decided that this sign shall be posted on the door of my apartment, and if possible, carried around on my person. I mean, can't I walk home in peace? I was almost hit by a car while trying to dodge this dog that nearly jumped over the fence to attack me. I know what I'm about to say sounds morbid, but seriously, wetin they for write for my obituary? "Na dog kill am?" God forbid bad thing!
Anyways, I decided that to explain why I have this deep rooted fear of dogs. It dates back, almost like everything horrible in my life, to boarding school. Seriously, almost everything horrible in my life ties back to boarding school or some educational institution. Neways, back to the story.
On this fateful day, in 1998, I woke up a happy JSS 2 student, innocently singing my songs, doing my chores and getting ready to go to class. We had some water scarcity then and if you didn't get water from out of town, you probably wouldn't have enough water to take care of important matters. The seniors in my dorm had decided to implement a "serving" system whereby juniors were assigned to senior students and had to do everything for them: fetch them water, lay their beds, wash their dishes, carry their books to class...you get the picture. Unfortunately for me, I was assigned to the most wicked senior in the dorm whom I shall call R.
R always delighted in making my life hell. That is just a story for another day though....I'll never get to the point at this rate! On this fine harmattan morning, I was enjoying myself like I said, until R summoned me to her corner. Apparently, she didn't get the water I had fetched her the previous day (that I carried for a long distance, with chest pain, I wasn't supposed to be doing that), so my reward that morning was 1 hot slap, orders to go get her water, and promises of more punishment after school that afternoon (Story of my life).
So, I set off with my iron bucket (R would never give me a bucket!) to fetch water from the well near our principal's house. Our principal had 5 dogs, and our vice principal had 1 demented dog that was worse than all the 5 dogs put together. I got to the well and started trying to get a little water out...the well was so dry! When I finally managed to get 3/4 of a bucket full, I was preparing to carry the water to the dorm (I was so skinny, It took preparation), when I heard a low growl. I still carried the water and started walking as fast as possible away from there...I didn't want to face R's wrath. Then I heard like footsteps and I broke into a run...
All 6 dogs were chasing me! I finally figured screw R and flung away the bucket and REALLY ran...even my sandal were thrown away... I fell into a gutter, scraped my knees and elbows, and still had one dog knock me down and stand inches away from my face....I was terrified! Luckily, after that they all left, but that scarred me for life...since then I've been deathly scared of dogs.
To add insult to injury, I got to the dorm and R gave me one more slap for not fetching her water (she didn't care about the bruises I was carrying), and she spent the whole afternoon giving me every imaginable corporal punishment from "think about your boyfriend" to "agama agama" to "pick pin." I just had a rough day.
Now you all see where I'm coming from eh? How can you now blame me for wanting to put up my sign...I'll probably also play the "No Dogs Allowed" song from Snoopy (I know, cartoon addict).
I have to go my people, if not my bus will leave me. Enjoy your weekend!
Ka Odi Nu

4 comments:

Aphrodite said...

Wow! that was one close shave girl.

I love dogs, we've always had them and one thing i know is dat if a dog is chasing you DONT RUN!
if you run,the dog will bite you.

Those punishments are very funny. Which one be "think about your boyfriend" again?

LG said...

my sistah, i feel u jare, i know i m not supposed to hate o, but i HATE dogs, i'm so scared of dem, i dont believe in "dont run if dog is chasing u o" for where, as soon as i perceive the smell of a dog, i do ben-johnson sharpish!!

hope u r gud?

simplegal said...

@ aphrodite: I stopped subscribing to that rule after I almost got bitten. I thot the dog was a craze dog though, so I didn't really fear dogs after that encounter. Naturally, I ran when it happened again. "Think about your boyfriend"...it was the one where you had to place one of your ankles on the opposite knee and place the corresponding elbow on that knee, without support, and well, think about your boyfriend. Horrible...Only Nigerians...

@ lg: Thank you for your concern, I am good oh! I don't blame you...you are just my virtual sister from today! Thanks for dropping by...:)

LG said...

just checking up on U,
hope u r good?