Friday, April 3, 2009

Boarding School Stories I: The Bully (Long Post Alert)

I was just thinking about how I had all these crazy – and sometimes life changing – experiences in boarding school and I decided to start blogging about my boarding school experiences. I decided to start with the one story that had everyone wondering about me after the 2T1L meme. I'm trying to give the whole story here, so it might be a little long, bear with me.

I was an SS3 student, eager to write WAEC and be done with secondary school; I just wanted to get out of that hellhole (that was how I felt about my school at the time). This one girl whom I shall call Bolo had become a friend over the earlier months of the second term. I don't know how it happened but we became pretty close. She was in SS2 at the time. It was surprising for me because I'm not one to become close with someone easily; I'd found that I was too trusting and I'd had one too many people take advantage of me. Anyways back to the story.

I can't remember clearly if it was second term or third term but we were told to get our money for the WAEC exams and some other fees. I went home and got the money from my dad, it was about 5000 naira I got in total, and my dad had decided to add a little pocket money for me too. I got back to school pretty late that evening from home (the woes of public transport in Nigeria), so I couldn't pay or deposit the money with the teacher who 'kept' my money for me. I decided to hide it in my koala bear bag; nobody but me, my school daughter and Bolo knew that the koala bear actually was a bag, it just looked like a stuffed animal to everyone else. I locked the bear in my locker for the night. The only times I left my corner that evening were when I had to use the restroom and I made sure my locker remained locked.

The following morning I went to get my money to pay for the fees and it was gone! Not some of it, all of it. I called everyone in my dorm together and started questioning them to see if anyone knew where the money had gone or if they had seen anyone suspicious activity around my locker or corner as a whole. The majority of the people indicated that they hadn't seen anything and they didn't know anything about the money. A few people, however, indicated that they thought Bolo was responsible. I didn't believe it at all; Bolo wasn't even in the same dorm, and she was my close friend. She wouldn't steal from me, and I hadn't even told anyone that I got any money from home. Sure one or two things had gone missing in the past, but it surely was because I was somewhat careless. Those things hadn't been stolen, had they?

I had a lot to think about, and I had to get that money before it got spent. Things were hard at home; my dad couldn't just come up with that amount of money just like that. My school daughter had spent the night in another dorm; I hadn't even seen her till after I discovered the money was lost, and people could vouch for her, so that eliminated her. I decided to call Bolo and talk to her, to find out if it could be possible that she did that. Bolo came over and before I could even get around to saying anything she was already getting an attitude with me. I decided to play it cool so it wouldn't be like I was abusing power (I was deputy head girl at the time) or trying to jeopardize our friendship. When we finally got around to really talking, she started with the theatrics: she got angry, she cried, she used every emotion that ever was. I was feeling bad until she said, "I don't know why you would think I stole your 5000 naira." I was like ermm…seeing as I never indicated how much was stolen, and it wasn't the exact amount for the WAEC fees, how would she have known how much was stolen? I didn't think rationally, I just saw red. I still gave her a chance to confess but she wouldn't so I started administering corporal punishments, and I told her to come get me when she decided to tell the truth, and then left the dorm.

My mates decided to take over where I left off and she still wouldn't tell the truth. Finally when I got back one of my mates asked her and she confessed. She then proceeded to boast about how she'd spent part of the money. I felt so betrayed and humiliated. In my mind, she had played me and I just couldn't bear the thought that someone close to me had betrayed my trust. I saw a deeper shade of red, lost my temper, and hit that girl. In dorm then if you were a thief, you would get in a lot of trouble. Jungle justice, as it was called, would be administered. After I had hit her, my anger was somewhat sent, so I left and went to another dorm and slept. If I'd stayed there, I might've wounded her, I was that angry. I don't know what happened after that for the rest of the evening.

The next morning I was called to the principal's office and once I stepped in I was told to kneel down and then I was just slapped and beat on. Nobody even told me what I'd done wrong, and in my daze I didn't think back to the issue of the previous evening. Finally me and three other girls were told that we were heartless bullies and that we had wounded Bolo so bad that she needed stitches on her thigh. She claimed that the three other girls told her to sleep on the top of the locker room and she'd fallen and cut herself. I was held as the instigator. That day was hellish for me. I was beaten, flogged, my hair was cut, I was paraded around the dorms as a bully (with my hair cut and my back bloodied from the vice principal flogging me), and then to top it off, I was suspended.

What hurt me the most was that Bolo walked around with a smirk, still spending that money and boasting about how she'd taken care of me to everyone. I found out that she'd stolen before (which is weird since her parents were stinking rich). She never paid a dime of that money. Heck, my dad even sent her money when he got posted outta the country. My dad was so disappointed in me…he said I'd embarrassed myself and ruined my "spotless school record". He took exception though to the fact that the vice-principal had beat me so much that he'd left scars on my back and arms. The man just always had it out for me and just used that as an excuse.

Before I left that school, the other VP (the one who cut my hair) called me and apologized. She'd found out about Bolo's criminal past, and she'd inspected that locker room. She said there was nothing in that locker room that would've caused that type of injury. She though it must have been self-inflicted. She said she shouldn't have pushed for me to get so much punishment and that they overreacted. It was cold comfort for me; the damage had already been done. There were worse cases of actual bullying that didn't receive such punishment or attention.

So yeah. That's the story of how I became a bully in secondary school. Looking back on it I probably shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I also learnt to pick my friends more carefully after that!

Nodi nu ofuma!

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Poem….

Thanks everyone for cheering me up, and leaving words of encouragement after my long-winded rant. LG, Mizchif, Roc, NDQ, Buttercup, and Bibi, I appreciate you all!

So, I was gonna regale you with some nice, funny post or story but I'm in school and my mind is not functioning properly right now. I decided to share one of my attempts at writing poetry with you instead (coz it's saved on my computer anyway). Be warned, it's a little depressing.

So here it goes:

P.L.M.

I changed my hue for you,
Stuck fingers where they shouldn't go,
Cut ties I didn't want to;

I starved myself for you,
Sacrificed my dignity for you,
and lost touch with my true identity.

The scars on my heart
Became little scars on my wrists
But I claimed they were paper cuts;

In return, you belittled me,
Stripped me of my confidence,
and reduced me to nothingness.

All the while I sent little notes,
through my words and actions
That you never seemed to receive.

I'm not intelligent enough for you,
Not pretty enough, and
Not resourceful enough;

I know I'm flawed to you,
but once, just once,
could you read between my lines?

Could you read the notes I sent
they all say the same thing;
three little words repeated throughout:
Please
  Love
     Me.


 

Erm…yeah. So I'm about to head out to class. I'll have something better posted soon k?

Sai anjuma.

Monday, March 9, 2009

10 Honest Things About Me

I just realized today that I never did get around to doing this meme that Buttercup tagged me to do, so I'll do it now. (Plus honestly, I'm having a bad day and any other thing I write about will probably be extremely depressing).

1. I am the biggest procrastinator there ever was. I put off things till the last minute then I get stressed out about them. Not a good trait.

2. I am a chronic worrier. I remember a professor once asked me if I actually sleep at night coz I worry too much about things. In addition, I get caught in the little details too often (especially with academics)

3. I have serious anger management problems. I used to get angry ALL the time, and I felt like I had all this anger just pent up inside. I'm happy I'm improving a little, but I feel like the silliest little things set me off.

4. I LOVE cartoons, books, music, and food. These are my favorite things in the world. I love to try new food combinations especially. My favorite weird food combo: Bread and noodle sandwiches.

5.I am a certified klutz. My classmates and friends have dozens of stories about me falling or bumping to something. The worst was when I apparently left skid marks after falling in a corridor in high school. I always have to think of where I'm going and walk carefully if I don't want to humiliate myself.

6.I'm scared of getting into a relationship. I have self esteem issues sometimes, and I think I'm scared that I'll be inadequate. I have some residual fear from my days of being molested too. For now, I hold onto my romantic dreams I guess.

7. I cry over weird things and at weird times. I can't cry at a funeral, but I'll cry when I feel I've not done as well as I can with a personal goal. I think when I'm truly deeply hurt, I just hold it inside; this is a practice I started in my childhood.

8. I'm obsessed with earrings! I could be looking all raggedy (coz I don't have much of a fashion sense), but I have to have some nice earrings.

9. I have an overactive imagination. I have all these scenarios and conversations playing in my head a lot of times. My mind is always busy.

10. Family is very important to me. You mess with my family and you've messed with me big time.


That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...I actually enjoyed it a little I think.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Kam kwuo eziokwu...

The title just means "Let me tell the truth." I just felt like speaking igbo this morning!

I'm back with the answers to my 2 truths, 1 lie meme.

1. I once got suspended and had my hair cut in high school for being a bully.
Many you guessed this was the lie. Unfortunately, this is true. I have an explanation though. In boarding school (bane of my existence) I got really mad at this one girl for stealing my money, which was desperately needed at the time, and then repeatedly denying it, until we found out she commited the theft. I went off on her, and in the spirit of jungle justice, some of my mates joined my in 'administering punishment' (I cringe at this term now).
The girl claimed that we made her sleep in the locker room and she fell and got a deep gash that required stitches. I was not listened to at all, the school administration termed me and three other girls as bullies, and our vice prinicpal at the time (very wicked, hers is a story for another day) decided that her form of punishment was to cut my hair. Eish this story is becoming too long; basically I got my beautiful long hair cut, and got suspended for a weekend "because I was usually a good girl."

2. I have a temper problem, and when I'm angry, I have a potty mouth.
This, too, is true. I have a bit of a temper, and for some strange reason, the cuss words just jump out when I'm really steamed. I'm working on it very hard though; I hate this aspect of my character.

3. I'm very good at masking my emotions. You won't know what's going on with me unless I choose to tell you.

Obviously, this is the lie. I've always been told that what I feel is always so clearly written on my face. I working on this too, because this makes me feel so vulnerable, and I don't particularly like that feeling.

Standtall, welldone! What present do you want? Buttercup, thanks for believeing that I'm a good girl :) Rethots, you are slick! You didn't give an answer though, so you're disqualified.

Sai anjuma.

P.S Please head over to here to nominate your favorite Naija bloggers for the Naija Bloggers Awards 2009, and meet other naija bloggers too!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

8,037 days ago...

In a little hospital in Yaba, Lagos, a very special and beautiful girl was born. She was doted on by her proud parents and her affectionate brothers. Today, 22 years later, she is still as special and beautiful as she was from the beginning.

Okay, so maybe that last part wasn't so true, but I'm trying :)

I must thank God though for keeping me to see my 22nd year...it's been quite a journey so far, and I cannot wait to see what this new chapter of my life will bring. I'm having an awesome day so far...I'm feeling the love from friends and family. My brother outdid himself AGAIN, it's like he just knows what I want, and he gets that for me, even with some jara!

It's just the beggining of the day, and I sure am looking forward to the rest of it! Happy Birthday to me!!

Ka Odi nu.

P.S I will have the results for the meme some time this weekend or next week...interesting guesses so far!

Monday, February 16, 2009

2 Truths, One Lie

I was tagged by Beulah! to do this meme, and I'm finally doing it. Here I go:

1. I once got suspended and had my hair cut in high school for being a bully.
2. I have a temper problem, and when I'm angry, I have a potty mouth.
3. I'm very good at masking my emotions. You won't know what's going on with me unless I choose to tell you.

I'm pretty sure it'll be very easy to figure out which one is the lie! Ehm...I don't tag anybody. Practically everyone I know has been tagged!

Nodi nu ofuma.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

On the 8,019th Day of My Life:

I missed my mum a lot.
I felt so lonely.
I realized that I was so broke that I had only less than $5 in my account, but I wasn’t worried because I knew something great was coming my way (and payday is almost here too!)
I wished I could get the nerve to really confront one of my friends about her bad behavior; it keeps getting worse, and I feel tangled in her web of lies.
I thought about another day when I had been walking to my car in the parking lot, and a guy stopped me to tell me I was beautiful. No toasting, no ulterior motives; he just made my day!
I thought about how much work I had to do in the coming weekend.
I wondered why some people never took anything serious. I wondered if I was a buzzkill, and why I took things too seriously sometimes.
I was annoyed with an overbearing uncle of mine.
I had lustful thoughts about someone’s butt (it was perfect, I tell you).
I resolved to definitely be more honest with myself.
I wondered if I was crushing on one of my close friends in secret. I really missed aforementioned friend.
I seriously wondered about what statements to come up with for the 2T/1L meme
I realized that February is almost here, and that means my birthday is almost here as well
I ate some Indomie noodles (It’s been a while, so this was a very important part of my day!)
I jammed to music by D’Banj, Timaya, and J. Martins.
I spoke to a friend that I hadn’t spoken to in a while.
I watched Brother Bear 2 and Mulan again.
I tried to refrain from choking some very annoying girls in my class.
I wondered why I talked to myself a lot, even going as far as having whole conversations with myself sometimes.
I wondered where I’d be, and what I’d be doing 9 months from now.
I thought about my life.

As you can probably tell by now, I really didn’t have much to write, so I decided to tell you about what I did/thought yesterday!
Nodi nu ofuma.