My parents/younger brother decided to make me some kind of family mediator, and I've been having to deal with that. On top of that, the stupid, disorganized peeps at my lil bro's school seem to think I'm some stand in parent or something, and they keep blowing up my phone....urgh! So do not need that!
Sorry, just had to have a mini-venting session. I'll be back in regular form soon...okay now back to the pleura and the lungs!!
Ka Odi Nu!!
I just moved to NY! It's wonderful being at home, being pampered, and just plain enjoying myself =) I'm still trying to adjust though. New Yorkers are a whole 'nother breed, especially for lil ole me who has lived in the south since I came to this country.
My reason for the move, and my second piece of good news: I got into med school!!! I've been slowly losing my mind, trying to get everything organized, but I've never been so happy to do so! In about two and a half weeks, yours truly can officially be called an MS I. I'll probaly be asking myself why I didn't just become a roadside tomato seller in a few weeks (like I always do when school stresses me out), but for now, I'm just happy.
So my people, pls do a celebratory dance for me today. Shout halle- with me. Share my testimony with me =). And thank you for all your support!
Okay now it's back to e-mailing, faxing, and purchasing.
Ka Odi nu.
I'll be back to share my good news shortly...just got to my turn at the car shop!
What is even more annoying is the fact that said people in question only have perceived ''great qualities''
Seriously, if you have nothing good to say, SHUT THE HELL UP!! Mschew. This is just a mini-rant. Full rant coming soon.
So in typical simplegal technology challenged fashion, I have just now learned
how to blog from my phone. I'm so excited! This way I'll probably post more
often :)
I'm currently lying in bed on my belly fighting nausea and my tummy hurts too.
You see, about a week ago I found out I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It was
somewhat a relief to figure out what was wrong. Anyways, I was started on
Metformin, and the side effects suck! I've had nausea, gas (have limited going
out to avoid traumatizing people with my flatulence), and mild diarrhea (any
kind of diarrhea sucks anyway).
Hopefully this nausea subsides so I can get down to the business of enjoying my
day off!
I just realized that this post is pretty much a whinefest. I'll have to make up
for that next time! And I'm still excited about mobile blogging (what's a short
name for it? Moblogging? Mogging? Someone lemme know =])
Ka Odi nu.
According to Wikipedia, "Agama agama is a species of lizard from the Agamidae family, found in most of sub-Saharan Africa."
As far as I was concerned, in JSS 1 at the time, Wikipedia was absolutely right. When I was asked by a senior student (Whom I shall call Snr. B) in the hostel if I knew what Agama agama was, I confidently replied that I did, and even went ahead, in my typical ITK fashion, to explain that it was a species of lizard, etc, and that the she should find it easy to identify because those kinds of lizards could be found crawling on our dorm walls all the time. I felt proud of myself after answering the question. After all, it was because I'd been reading my older brothers' biology textbooks that I happened to know this information. I finished answering the question with a smile on my face, and even asked the Snr. B if she had any other question before I left.
So, in the midst of all the happiness, imagine my surprise when Snr. B's response to my detailed answer was a hot slap! While reeling from the slap, I tried to backtrack and see where I went wrong, to see if I'd missed some cues from the other students around who all suddenly seemed to be wearing matching smirks. I thought to myself that in hindsight, perhaps I shouldn't have answered the question in such detail, or perhaps I should have feigned ignorance. Maybe Snr. B was just mad because I told her something she obviously didn't know (After all, everyone knew she kinda was a dundee). However, it turned out that none of these factors was the problem. That became clear when B told me that she'd "show me what agama agama was" and that I'd "see fire today."
As it turns out, Agama Agama was actually a corporal punishment. Snr. B gleefully asked another junior student to demonstrate the punishment to me, and after seeing it, I began to think that I REALLY should have shut my mouth. Basically, you have to support your whole body weight on your elbows and the tips of your toes; So you lie down straight on the floor, then you cup your face with your hands, and then you push yourself up until all your weight is supported on your elbows and toes. Most importantly, your stomach, knees, and any other body part (apart from the elbows and toes) must not touch the ground. Each time one of those offending parts touched the ground, you got slapped, and 10 more minutes were added onto your punishment time.
For someone like me this was the worst punishment ever devised. I was a kpengele girl in JSS 1; I almost looked like a kwashiorkor patient. My huge tummy kept touching the floor of course, and when I tried to adjust, I was told that I was that I was making a V, and my back was actually meant to remain straight. I had no means of escape. I prayed and prayed for afternoon prep that day, until I realized it was a Saturday, so I wouldn't be getting any such relief. My arms felt like jelly; I'd never felt them shake so badly. Snr. B wasn't even looking at me or listening to me. I cried, I fell, I begged, I pleaded, I even tried bribery (Snr. B was also known to have anya ukwu; I was so sure that would work), all to no avail. After about 2 hours – the result of many 10 minute increments – Snr. B finally let me up. Those seemed like the longest two hours of my life. I made sure I told her how grateful I was (another lesson I had learnt in my short stint at boarding school), and promised that I'd never repeat whatever offence it was that I'd committed.
That was when Snr. B turned to me and said there was no need for apologies. I was feeling relieved until I heard the next statements out of her mouth. She said I didn't need to apologize, because I hadn't DONE ANTHING WRONG! She said that she'd had a bad day, and just felt like punishing someone, and I was just the 'unfortunate soul' that happened to work for her.
I walked off, fuming – on the inside of course, I wouldn't dare show any anger, for fear of receiving more punishment – and realized 3 important things:
Later on I would find out that there were many more interesting letters of the corporal punishment alphabet. That weren't necessarily as physically tasking this punishment was, but they were just as painful. That's a story for another day though.
To all the boarders/ attendees of ajekpako secondary schools, what was the equivalent of Agama agama for you?
So I came across this post I had typed up on my computer on November 19, 2009, and I thought I'd share it. I guess I've been dealing with some things that I didn't want to bring to the forefront. I am, however, going through a journey of transparent self-honesty, and I find that sharing seems to help. I love being an anonymous blogger.
And I should add that things have DEFINITELY improved since I typed this; maybe my dad seemed to realize what he stood to lose when mama got so sick earlier on in the year. Anyways, here it goes:
I don't know what to do with myself right now…I'm just typing away to see if it gives me some sense of relief. I can't sleep, I'm having a little pity fest too, but I can't help it! I feel so down.
I'm saddened by the state of my parent's marriage. There, I said it. I'm upset that my father keeps belittling and disparaging my mother in front of others. No matter what, she should be given respect as his wife and mother to his four children. I cannot believe that he cannot see how much damage he's done to her. I cannot believe that he cannot sense how much damage he's doing to ME talking to me about my mum like that.
"She has no ambition."
"If she was someone who took anything seriously, she'd do this…"
"Look at how she looks. This isn't the woman I married."
While he talks about how fat she is, or how the only reason he's still with her is because of us, he seems to forget his role in her current "state":
Worst of all, it's like he never looks at himself in the mirror. His thickening waistline and his heavier self isn't the man my mum married either, but I don't hear her complain. He may not be "obese" like she is, but if she can love him unconditionally, why can't he do the same?
He would flinch to hear this, but what he has been doing to her is called abuse. He would never lift a finger to her, I'll give him that, but there are so many other forms of abuse. This is verbal and emotional abuse.
I'm not exonerating mum of any blame either. She lets him chip away at her self esteem without saying anything. My mum is the strongest woman I know, but sometimes I wonder if she realizes it herself. I would never blame her for foregoing her dreams to take care of us; she always tells us how happy she was and still is to take care of us, and I always feel like my heart is being squeezed when she says that; I know how much she's sacrificed.
Sometimes though, I wish she'd stand up for herself more and not let my dad and his domineering self walk all over her. I wish she would take better care of herself. I wish she'd do it for her, and not for anyone else: not my dad, not us, not her family. Just for her. I want her to get that spring back in her step, that shining confidence and assurance in her eyes. I want to stop seeing that look of panic that she can't disguise no matter how hard she tries.
Momma has been ill a lot lately and I keep freaking out. I'm ashamed to say it, but I keep getting scared that she'll die. My stomach knots and I feel nauseous when I think of it. I know that I'm selfish in thinking of only how it impacts me, but I think I have every right to be selfish about my mum.
I'm confused. I've always been the closest to my dad, but as I've been growing up, his attitude towards my mum is slowly wedging a space between us. I can't approach my dad with this subject and I don't know what to do. I just know that if this goes on, I might get to a point where I'll completely lose that closeness with him.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect or that they both have to be perfect. I just want them to be the best they can. I want the fairy tale family I used to have back.
I feel so much better letting this all out.
