People of blogsville,
I just stopped by to wish you a MeRrY ChRiStMaS! I sincerely hope that this will be a blessed and happy one.
Enjoy as much as possible, but please don't forget the main reason for today: the birth of our Lord. God be with you all!
Udo diri unu!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Testimony....
Hey folks!
Seems like I've been away too long once again! I was experiencing some Internet issues, but not to worry; everything has been resolved now!
This has been a wonderful time for me...It seems like I went through so many ups and downs, especially emotionally, and now I've come out on top. Like Beluah prayed for me, this year seems to be coming to an end in grand style!
When I was younger, and anything special or intense happened to me, I would talk to God in my special way. I did this by writing a letter to God. I used to walk around with a book filled with letters to God. It's been a while, so I thought I'd do that today.
Dear God,
This is your daughter simplegirl here; I know you know my identity so no problem there. It's been a while since I actually wrote you, and I just had to do this because there is so much I have to thank you for.
First off, I want to say thank you for still keeping me here till this day, and thank you for keeping and protecting all my friends and family. Thank you for not abandoning me at any point in time, and thank you for being there, not being fickle like I've found some other people and things to be.
Thank you for providing for me and helping me deal with the trouble over my accident, and thanks for helping me control my temper when I saw that young lady's friend again on the last day of school. She still had that scratch on her car just like I suspected she would.
Thank you for saving me from another accident. I'm happy you helped me stop my car in time when the tire rod slipped in the middle of the road and my tire was practically off the car, with bolts and nuts intact. I would've barreled into someones fence and hurt my friend A in the passenger seat, but you stopped me on time! And you sent over a nice elderly man to help us get a towing truck too! You are so wonderful God!
Speaking of A, thank you for delivering her from an accident too! The front of the car was crushed and the car was completely totaled, but she came out with just bruises and a really bad headache. Thank you for being with her.
Thank you for putting a big smile on my mum's face! My brother graduated on Friday, with honors, despite what all the naysayers had to say. Now my mum can proudly answer to her "Nne engineer" title. (And please don't hold it against her when it seems like she's being too proud; it's just been a long time coming for her). She really needed this...all the time people delighted in called her 'uneducated' and 'illiterate' just coz she doesn't have a college degree, even though she went to TTC and was a teacher. This helps hold her head even HIGHER!
Thank you for keeping my mum and dad alive and strong. Even though some of his family members took my dad's pic to the graveyard igwo ogwu, it didn't work. They said he wouldn't see the end of this year, but he has, and he's healthy too! And even though my dad's family have insulted my mum in every way possible, and claimed their marriage wouldn't last, they're still going strong! (sure my dad still has some things to work on, but one prayer at a time right?)
Thank you for journey mercies for various family members and myself. Thanks for strengthening my mum, uncle, and aunts. It's been 6 years since Grandma came to join you, and I know it's been really hard for them at this time of year. I'm happy that you let my aunt G really grieve; she had been holding so much pain inside after losing mama, but I guess when she finally saw home, after 12 yrs away, she was able to let go.
Thank you for academic success! Thanks for giving me As in ALL my classes this semester...even those three that were particularly trying for me. And even though I was crushed when I didn't do so great on my MCAT, thanks for letting me experience that. I should've known that you had a greater plan for me! Speaking of the MCAT, father thank you for giving my friends Ed, Whitney, and Sting admission into medical school! You are great Lord!
There is just sooooo much to thank you for, and I'm overwhelmed by the good you have done for me this year. I know that you know what's in my heart, and you know that I'm thankful, even for the things I haven't written out here. You really have been awesome in my life this year.
Thanks coz I know you're going to do even greater things! I love you so much.
Your loving daughter,
Simplegal.
Seems like I've been away too long once again! I was experiencing some Internet issues, but not to worry; everything has been resolved now!
This has been a wonderful time for me...It seems like I went through so many ups and downs, especially emotionally, and now I've come out on top. Like Beluah prayed for me, this year seems to be coming to an end in grand style!
When I was younger, and anything special or intense happened to me, I would talk to God in my special way. I did this by writing a letter to God. I used to walk around with a book filled with letters to God. It's been a while, so I thought I'd do that today.
Dear God,
This is your daughter simplegirl here; I know you know my identity so no problem there. It's been a while since I actually wrote you, and I just had to do this because there is so much I have to thank you for.
First off, I want to say thank you for still keeping me here till this day, and thank you for keeping and protecting all my friends and family. Thank you for not abandoning me at any point in time, and thank you for being there, not being fickle like I've found some other people and things to be.
Thank you for providing for me and helping me deal with the trouble over my accident, and thanks for helping me control my temper when I saw that young lady's friend again on the last day of school. She still had that scratch on her car just like I suspected she would.
Thank you for saving me from another accident. I'm happy you helped me stop my car in time when the tire rod slipped in the middle of the road and my tire was practically off the car, with bolts and nuts intact. I would've barreled into someones fence and hurt my friend A in the passenger seat, but you stopped me on time! And you sent over a nice elderly man to help us get a towing truck too! You are so wonderful God!
Speaking of A, thank you for delivering her from an accident too! The front of the car was crushed and the car was completely totaled, but she came out with just bruises and a really bad headache. Thank you for being with her.
Thank you for putting a big smile on my mum's face! My brother graduated on Friday, with honors, despite what all the naysayers had to say. Now my mum can proudly answer to her "Nne engineer" title. (And please don't hold it against her when it seems like she's being too proud; it's just been a long time coming for her). She really needed this...all the time people delighted in called her 'uneducated' and 'illiterate' just coz she doesn't have a college degree, even though she went to TTC and was a teacher. This helps hold her head even HIGHER!
Thank you for keeping my mum and dad alive and strong. Even though some of his family members took my dad's pic to the graveyard igwo ogwu, it didn't work. They said he wouldn't see the end of this year, but he has, and he's healthy too! And even though my dad's family have insulted my mum in every way possible, and claimed their marriage wouldn't last, they're still going strong! (sure my dad still has some things to work on, but one prayer at a time right?)
Thank you for journey mercies for various family members and myself. Thanks for strengthening my mum, uncle, and aunts. It's been 6 years since Grandma came to join you, and I know it's been really hard for them at this time of year. I'm happy that you let my aunt G really grieve; she had been holding so much pain inside after losing mama, but I guess when she finally saw home, after 12 yrs away, she was able to let go.
Thank you for academic success! Thanks for giving me As in ALL my classes this semester...even those three that were particularly trying for me. And even though I was crushed when I didn't do so great on my MCAT, thanks for letting me experience that. I should've known that you had a greater plan for me! Speaking of the MCAT, father thank you for giving my friends Ed, Whitney, and Sting admission into medical school! You are great Lord!
There is just sooooo much to thank you for, and I'm overwhelmed by the good you have done for me this year. I know that you know what's in my heart, and you know that I'm thankful, even for the things I haven't written out here. You really have been awesome in my life this year.
Thanks coz I know you're going to do even greater things! I love you so much.
Your loving daughter,
Simplegal.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Update....
Hey Everyone!
I'm back to update like I promised; sorry it took a little while, I have just been swamped with a multitude of things! This was a tough week for me, but I thank God, because through it all He was really there for me!
First onto my accident issue. The young lady I was involved in the accident with showed her real colors this week. She had been acting all nice before, but this week it was like I was dealing with another person. She claimed that she had gotten an estimate for the repair of her car from back home and it was actually $1750. For a paint job to cover a scratch that wasn't even that extensive? I don't think so! She went as far as to tell me I had to rent her a car of her choice to drive while her car was in the shop, and that I had to pay for her to fix her car in any shop of her choice, regardless of the price. I was just sooooo frustrated with her.
On Wednesday, she met with me and brought another estimate that was $1200. She said I had to go with that estimate because the other shop was not going to fix her car on time for her to leave school. I wondered why this was an issue, seeing as the car was driving perfectly well. She then said I had to deposit the money for the repairs directly into her account. Lekwanu mu ihu nsogbu my people. At that point, I got fed up with her and told her I was absolutely NOT going to do that. Did she think that I'm a mugu? Did she somehow see a feeding bottle in my mouth? How is it that she thought she could make such demands of me, that I would actually have any dealing with her that I had no documentation of? At that point, she started threatening me with legal action if I didn't pay up by today. She should've taken it to court; everything would've worked in my favor anyway.
Anyhoo, I got tired of dealing with her, so I decided to try and deal with the issue and be done with it. My professors at school who knew of the issue advised me to just let it go; they told me to write up a contract and get it notarized, then write her a check for the amount of the lowest estimate. I did that yesterday. My brother and some of my professors helped me raise the $1000, and I paid her. I got my documentation, so everything is settled now. I can tell she wasn't even gonna use that money to fix her car! Before I even got home yesterday, she had already cashed the check! All I can say is, God bless her. She should just know that what she did to me will surely come back to her in many other ways. That is that!
My people, I have to tell you this oh! Abeg, make una help me thank Ebony well well!!! Can you believe that Ms. Ebony actually sent me $500 to help take care of the accident payment?! I got her check in the mail today. God will surely bless her for this help!
My prayer warriors of blogsville, thank you oh! You must have been praying very hard for me, because everything that went wrong for me this week was resolved by the grace of God. My keys were lost earlier in the week, but yesterday, I found them. My genetics textbook was stolen on Wednesday, one day before the finals; I made a few copies but I still didn't know a lot of questions on the test. I did a lot of guesswork, and after the test, when I asked the professor about the questions I guessed on, I got all of them right! I passed that test too! The assignment that was driving me crazy, remember the 305 pg book report? The deadline was extended by a week on the day it was due. Your prayers worked, Chukwu gozie unu nile!!
Right now, I'm just happy. I know it was a tough week, but it ended on such a high note I can't even attempt to complain. I'm off to celebrate my Friday.
Enjoy your weekend everyone!
Sai Anjuma.
I'm back to update like I promised; sorry it took a little while, I have just been swamped with a multitude of things! This was a tough week for me, but I thank God, because through it all He was really there for me!
First onto my accident issue. The young lady I was involved in the accident with showed her real colors this week. She had been acting all nice before, but this week it was like I was dealing with another person. She claimed that she had gotten an estimate for the repair of her car from back home and it was actually $1750. For a paint job to cover a scratch that wasn't even that extensive? I don't think so! She went as far as to tell me I had to rent her a car of her choice to drive while her car was in the shop, and that I had to pay for her to fix her car in any shop of her choice, regardless of the price. I was just sooooo frustrated with her.
On Wednesday, she met with me and brought another estimate that was $1200. She said I had to go with that estimate because the other shop was not going to fix her car on time for her to leave school. I wondered why this was an issue, seeing as the car was driving perfectly well. She then said I had to deposit the money for the repairs directly into her account. Lekwanu mu ihu nsogbu my people. At that point, I got fed up with her and told her I was absolutely NOT going to do that. Did she think that I'm a mugu? Did she somehow see a feeding bottle in my mouth? How is it that she thought she could make such demands of me, that I would actually have any dealing with her that I had no documentation of? At that point, she started threatening me with legal action if I didn't pay up by today. She should've taken it to court; everything would've worked in my favor anyway.
Anyhoo, I got tired of dealing with her, so I decided to try and deal with the issue and be done with it. My professors at school who knew of the issue advised me to just let it go; they told me to write up a contract and get it notarized, then write her a check for the amount of the lowest estimate. I did that yesterday. My brother and some of my professors helped me raise the $1000, and I paid her. I got my documentation, so everything is settled now. I can tell she wasn't even gonna use that money to fix her car! Before I even got home yesterday, she had already cashed the check! All I can say is, God bless her. She should just know that what she did to me will surely come back to her in many other ways. That is that!
My people, I have to tell you this oh! Abeg, make una help me thank Ebony well well!!! Can you believe that Ms. Ebony actually sent me $500 to help take care of the accident payment?! I got her check in the mail today. God will surely bless her for this help!
My prayer warriors of blogsville, thank you oh! You must have been praying very hard for me, because everything that went wrong for me this week was resolved by the grace of God. My keys were lost earlier in the week, but yesterday, I found them. My genetics textbook was stolen on Wednesday, one day before the finals; I made a few copies but I still didn't know a lot of questions on the test. I did a lot of guesswork, and after the test, when I asked the professor about the questions I guessed on, I got all of them right! I passed that test too! The assignment that was driving me crazy, remember the 305 pg book report? The deadline was extended by a week on the day it was due. Your prayers worked, Chukwu gozie unu nile!!
Right now, I'm just happy. I know it was a tough week, but it ended on such a high note I can't even attempt to complain. I'm off to celebrate my Friday.
Enjoy your weekend everyone!
Sai Anjuma.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Quick Post
Hey everyone! This can not even be classified as a real post....I'm just stopping by to let you know that I will be updating and letting you know the outcome of my issue either tomorrow or friday, I promise! I just got a whole lot going on: finals, presentations, and other personal issues.
Jishi nu ike!
Jishi nu ike!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Terrible week, Just Terrible....
Hey everyone....
I've been away for a while, coz like I said, I've been contemplating. I wanted to stay away for a while until I had something positive to post; I'm tired of all the sad and whiny posts! Unfortunately, things just seem not to be working out for me. I'm particularly down today, so I thought I'd come vent/ talk about it with my blogsville family to make myself feel better.
I have been having a bad month! It wasn't too bad, but this week in particular, everything seems to be going so wrong. I've had to deal with annoying and irate people, walking into class to meet unexpected quizzes, having to do a book report on a 305 pg book within a week (it's due on Monday), and fake friends!
Yesterday, in the midst of all this stress, my appearing-once-in-a-blue-moon period finally came, and it's the worst yet. I have cramps from hades with severe back pain (I guess it's coz it's been so long...period skipped 4 months this time). I barely slept the whole night coz of that, and I had to go shadowing this morning. I almost didn't, but I decided to be a good student and go shadowing. BIG MISTAKE!
I got through shadowing unscathed, but things got really weird after that. My head started throbbing. I almost got hit on the highway. I got to school and got in an accident in the parking lot. I've been told it's my fault, and now I got to fix the other driver's car out of pocket. Why? Because I got the car less than two weeks ago, and my paperwork is yet to come in, so no insurance...only dealer insurance, and there's a whole lot of drama going on from that angle.
To make matters worse, the driver's friend is some stupid hot-headed girl that keeps trying to deliberately make things hard for me; I'm so unfortunate to have been in an accident with the one person most susceptible to peer pressure. Now I have to figure out where to get $1000 from....I only work on campus and make about $120 per week! God help me.
I see I've just been rambling on...I'm just so frustrated, and I tend to babble when frustrated. I just dunno what to do!
Prayer warriors of Blogsville, come to my aid! If nothing else, just pray for me to feel better. I want this seemingly endless streak of bad luck to end. I just want to FEEL BETTER.
Ka Odi nu.
I've been away for a while, coz like I said, I've been contemplating. I wanted to stay away for a while until I had something positive to post; I'm tired of all the sad and whiny posts! Unfortunately, things just seem not to be working out for me. I'm particularly down today, so I thought I'd come vent/ talk about it with my blogsville family to make myself feel better.
I have been having a bad month! It wasn't too bad, but this week in particular, everything seems to be going so wrong. I've had to deal with annoying and irate people, walking into class to meet unexpected quizzes, having to do a book report on a 305 pg book within a week (it's due on Monday), and fake friends!
Yesterday, in the midst of all this stress, my appearing-once-in-a-blue-moon period finally came, and it's the worst yet. I have cramps from hades with severe back pain (I guess it's coz it's been so long...period skipped 4 months this time). I barely slept the whole night coz of that, and I had to go shadowing this morning. I almost didn't, but I decided to be a good student and go shadowing. BIG MISTAKE!
I got through shadowing unscathed, but things got really weird after that. My head started throbbing. I almost got hit on the highway. I got to school and got in an accident in the parking lot. I've been told it's my fault, and now I got to fix the other driver's car out of pocket. Why? Because I got the car less than two weeks ago, and my paperwork is yet to come in, so no insurance...only dealer insurance, and there's a whole lot of drama going on from that angle.
To make matters worse, the driver's friend is some stupid hot-headed girl that keeps trying to deliberately make things hard for me; I'm so unfortunate to have been in an accident with the one person most susceptible to peer pressure. Now I have to figure out where to get $1000 from....I only work on campus and make about $120 per week! God help me.
I see I've just been rambling on...I'm just so frustrated, and I tend to babble when frustrated. I just dunno what to do!
Prayer warriors of Blogsville, come to my aid! If nothing else, just pray for me to feel better. I want this seemingly endless streak of bad luck to end. I just want to FEEL BETTER.
Ka Odi nu.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
No title for this post...just a little quick note.
I got my MCAT results on Tuesday...basically, I won't be going to med school next year. I got a 24L...not exactly competitive, especially as an international student with limited options. Currently, I'm trying to figure out what to do in my downtime (apart from rewriting my MCAT, that is). Any one know of any good postbac programs that take international students? Please let me know.
Throughout this week, I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about my future, thinking about my current existence, thinking about my past. Thinking about friendships that seem to be waning...Thinking about the little skeletons that had been hiding previously, but seem to be playing peek-a-boo in my mind. Confronting some of my fears...and letting God reassure me! I'm not depressed...more like I'm in a state of deep contemplation.
I'll be back to update soon....just as soon as I get out of this contemplative funk. Could be tomorrow, could be a month from today; I just want to stop this trend of sad posts.
Sai anjuma.
I got my MCAT results on Tuesday...basically, I won't be going to med school next year. I got a 24L...not exactly competitive, especially as an international student with limited options. Currently, I'm trying to figure out what to do in my downtime (apart from rewriting my MCAT, that is). Any one know of any good postbac programs that take international students? Please let me know.
Throughout this week, I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about my future, thinking about my current existence, thinking about my past. Thinking about friendships that seem to be waning...Thinking about the little skeletons that had been hiding previously, but seem to be playing peek-a-boo in my mind. Confronting some of my fears...and letting God reassure me! I'm not depressed...more like I'm in a state of deep contemplation.
I'll be back to update soon....just as soon as I get out of this contemplative funk. Could be tomorrow, could be a month from today; I just want to stop this trend of sad posts.
Sai anjuma.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
December 15, 2004....
I was bored earlier on today, and I was reading my OLD diaries when I came across this entry:
Dee (I called my diary Dee),
Today is a BAD day! What I feared would happen for so long actually happened today. Why today of all days?Two days before the crusade, 12 days before I leave for the states? God, how could you allow this to happen to me?! N [my eldest brother] just found the note I wrote so long ago in anger, a note that I thought I got rid of...to make matters worse, he gave it to popsie! I just got out of the room, after talking with mumsie, and I feel so bad, coz she's hurting, and popsie gave me an ultimatum through her. I'm NOT looking forward to tonight.
The entry ended there. I never updated after the night in question. I guess at this point you're wondering about the content of the note that was causing so much stress right? Well, in that note/letter, I had basically chronicled the abuse I had gone through (and the ages at which the incidents occurred). I remember now that I had kept the letter folded in my diary, and when got home from school that term, I'd seen it and planned to dispose of it, but I got interrupted (I think my mum had called me to help her with something). Anyways, I guess it fell out of my diary, and my eldest brother found it when he was cleaning the living room the next morning. My bro. N is very hot tempered, and he took the letter straight to my dad. I think what was upsetting him so much was the fact that the second sentence of the letter said: AGE 6: Molested by my cousin. My brother found that intolerable!
My dad basically gave my mum the letter and told her that by the time he g0t back from work that evening, he wanted to know three things: 1. Who was the cousin in question? 2. What exactly did he do? 3. When I'd become such a foul -mouthed person (Coz that note was FULL of swear words...like I said, I was mad). My mum called me to her room and grilled me till I gave her the person's name. She was so hurt cos it was her sister's son, the one my parents treated like a son. She asked me why I'd never told her abut it, and I told her why: Because I knew they'd both react like this. My dad and brothers would threaten the cousin in question, and my mum would be shattered by it. I love my mum to death and I hate to see her hurt in any way, so I felt I was protecting her. I guess I failed at that.
In actuality, this note came from my therapy at school. I got to a point where I was really depressed and almost suicidal. I was beginning to remember a lot of things I'd tried to suppress for s long, and I did not like the picture my memories were painting. One day I decided to just be strong about it, and I went to see my school counselor. One of the things she told me to do was to write out how I felt whenever any of my moods hit me (advice I still follow to this day), and that letter was one of the products of my writing. Well, back to the story.
I spent the whole day in fear. What, and how was I gonna talk to my dad? I couldn't look my mum in the eye either. I felt like I was so unclean, like I'd committed a major offense. Surprisingly, when my dad came back from work that night, he didn't call me aside. He didn't yell at me like I thought he would. He called me Ada Daddy like he always did. It was like he'd forgotten the whole episode. Instead he smiled at me, and sat me down, and we had a 'normal' evening. Back then, I thought he was having avoidance issues, but in retrospect, I've realized that he was just coping with his shock as he knew best. I think our family coping mechanism is "Forget about it. Act like nothing happened." All the same, I think it hurt my daddy a lot. He'd always been super intuitive where I was concerned, and my dad always seemed to know when something was wrong with me; he just couldn't fathom how he'd missed something this huge. We always were super close, me and my dad. I'm his only daughter, so I guess that's why.
I thought it was all forgotten, but the night before I came to the states to start college, I had a talk with my dad, you know 'THE TALK' parents give before you leave home...don't do drugs, don't be promiscuous, focus on your studies, etc etc. I thought it was just my dads routine talk till he said, "Ada mu I never talked to you about that note. I'm upset you used such foul language, you're not like that. Most importantly, I'm sad that you couldn't say anything to me. A wum nna gi. And we are closer than most fathers and daughters are." He didn't say anything more than that, and I think it was because of the suspicious sheen I saw in his eyes. My father is a proud man; he is not one who easily shares his emotions.
We never talked about the issue after that, but it still hurts me sometimes when I think about it. Not the abuse, cos I've since moved on from that by the grace of God, but by the tiny rift it created between me and my dad. Okay honestly, the abuse still sits in the farthest reaches of my mind a bit; it even helps me rationalize and justify some flaws and aspects of myself I don't like. But, I'm tryna move on from it...I don't even want it in the farthest reaches of my mind anymore. I want to be a clean slate, I want to let go completely.
There, I just shared a little bit more of myself...maybe when I truly share the rest I'll let go. Who knows? We'll see.
Nodi nu ofuma.
Dee (I called my diary Dee),
Today is a BAD day! What I feared would happen for so long actually happened today. Why today of all days?Two days before the crusade, 12 days before I leave for the states? God, how could you allow this to happen to me?! N [my eldest brother] just found the note I wrote so long ago in anger, a note that I thought I got rid of...to make matters worse, he gave it to popsie! I just got out of the room, after talking with mumsie, and I feel so bad, coz she's hurting, and popsie gave me an ultimatum through her. I'm NOT looking forward to tonight.
The entry ended there. I never updated after the night in question. I guess at this point you're wondering about the content of the note that was causing so much stress right? Well, in that note/letter, I had basically chronicled the abuse I had gone through (and the ages at which the incidents occurred). I remember now that I had kept the letter folded in my diary, and when got home from school that term, I'd seen it and planned to dispose of it, but I got interrupted (I think my mum had called me to help her with something). Anyways, I guess it fell out of my diary, and my eldest brother found it when he was cleaning the living room the next morning. My bro. N is very hot tempered, and he took the letter straight to my dad. I think what was upsetting him so much was the fact that the second sentence of the letter said: AGE 6: Molested by my cousin. My brother found that intolerable!
My dad basically gave my mum the letter and told her that by the time he g0t back from work that evening, he wanted to know three things: 1. Who was the cousin in question? 2. What exactly did he do? 3. When I'd become such a foul -mouthed person (Coz that note was FULL of swear words...like I said, I was mad). My mum called me to her room and grilled me till I gave her the person's name. She was so hurt cos it was her sister's son, the one my parents treated like a son. She asked me why I'd never told her abut it, and I told her why: Because I knew they'd both react like this. My dad and brothers would threaten the cousin in question, and my mum would be shattered by it. I love my mum to death and I hate to see her hurt in any way, so I felt I was protecting her. I guess I failed at that.
In actuality, this note came from my therapy at school. I got to a point where I was really depressed and almost suicidal. I was beginning to remember a lot of things I'd tried to suppress for s long, and I did not like the picture my memories were painting. One day I decided to just be strong about it, and I went to see my school counselor. One of the things she told me to do was to write out how I felt whenever any of my moods hit me (advice I still follow to this day), and that letter was one of the products of my writing. Well, back to the story.
I spent the whole day in fear. What, and how was I gonna talk to my dad? I couldn't look my mum in the eye either. I felt like I was so unclean, like I'd committed a major offense. Surprisingly, when my dad came back from work that night, he didn't call me aside. He didn't yell at me like I thought he would. He called me Ada Daddy like he always did. It was like he'd forgotten the whole episode. Instead he smiled at me, and sat me down, and we had a 'normal' evening. Back then, I thought he was having avoidance issues, but in retrospect, I've realized that he was just coping with his shock as he knew best. I think our family coping mechanism is "Forget about it. Act like nothing happened." All the same, I think it hurt my daddy a lot. He'd always been super intuitive where I was concerned, and my dad always seemed to know when something was wrong with me; he just couldn't fathom how he'd missed something this huge. We always were super close, me and my dad. I'm his only daughter, so I guess that's why.
I thought it was all forgotten, but the night before I came to the states to start college, I had a talk with my dad, you know 'THE TALK' parents give before you leave home...don't do drugs, don't be promiscuous, focus on your studies, etc etc. I thought it was just my dads routine talk till he said, "Ada mu I never talked to you about that note. I'm upset you used such foul language, you're not like that. Most importantly, I'm sad that you couldn't say anything to me. A wum nna gi. And we are closer than most fathers and daughters are." He didn't say anything more than that, and I think it was because of the suspicious sheen I saw in his eyes. My father is a proud man; he is not one who easily shares his emotions.
We never talked about the issue after that, but it still hurts me sometimes when I think about it. Not the abuse, cos I've since moved on from that by the grace of God, but by the tiny rift it created between me and my dad. Okay honestly, the abuse still sits in the farthest reaches of my mind a bit; it even helps me rationalize and justify some flaws and aspects of myself I don't like. But, I'm tryna move on from it...I don't even want it in the farthest reaches of my mind anymore. I want to be a clean slate, I want to let go completely.
There, I just shared a little bit more of myself...maybe when I truly share the rest I'll let go. Who knows? We'll see.
Nodi nu ofuma.
Monday, September 29, 2008
MND....
Happy Independence day to my fellow Nigerians! How did you spend the day? I hope it was a blessed and fun day for all!
I'm back my fellow citizens of blogsville! I'm sorry I was away for so long; I came back from the MCAT to meet even more drama. As for the MCAT, all I can say is: I'm praying. I no know whether na me write de exam abi na de exam write me. I guess I'll know when I see the results.
I've just had a whole lot going through my mind...a lot of random thoughts that I can't seem to collect. I started writing a post three times last week, and I just couldn't seem to get anything together, so I deleted the posts. I've decided just keep typing and see what comes of it.
I've been very sad about my dad's sister-in-law (whom I shall call MND) that passed. I wasn't close to her at all, but the few memories I have of her paint a picture of a nice, sweet lady who went through so much stress. Her husband K, my dad's half-brother, practiced polygamy (He had four wives, I think), so she already had to deal with some stress in the home. K was just following the footsteps of his father before him; My grandad married five wives, four of which had children. Obviously, my dad's family is a big one!
My Grandad was the Eze of his hometown, but the position didn't bring money with it; instead it seems to have brought strife with it. K, who was the diokpara of the family, was something of a disappointment. He was well educated, with a good job, but he drank a lot. As a result, after his death, there wasn't really much left for his wives and children to live on. MND was the youngest wife, so she seemed to be at the receiving end of a lot of hate in family. Auntie MN went through a lot of suffering, but finally my dad found a way to help her kids; sent them to school, and eventually her son made it over here to the states.
Her son, ND, has been focused in school, and he had just gotten a new job, and was ready to REALLY take care of his mum, when we received the bad news. I think what hurt us all so much is that she suffered all her life and died suffering as well. She'd been ill for a while, and none of her kids were home, so ND begged his stepmum, brothers, and sisters to take care of her. He sent every dollar he earned back home to take care of her till he could get home see her. They spent the money and did nothing for her. One of his sisters took the mum to a faith healer and felt she'd done her part. Can you imagine, everyone just stood aside and twiddled their thumbs while MND lay there dying. The first time they thought she was dead, they took her to the morgue, not the hospital, the MORGUE! After about one hour, she woke up, and they took her home (not to the hospital). The process occurred 3 more times, and finally she passed. After that they all started 'weeping and wailing'...I was so upset when I heard that, coz I cannot believe that anyone would be so callous as to see someone suffering so much and do nothing to help.
Through all this, I'm happy about one thing: She has finally been relieved from the suffering that she seemed to be embroiled in for such a major part of her life.
I'm surprised some of the things that still happen in this day and age. I guess I'm calling this post MND then....
Ka Odi Nu.
I'm back my fellow citizens of blogsville! I'm sorry I was away for so long; I came back from the MCAT to meet even more drama. As for the MCAT, all I can say is: I'm praying. I no know whether na me write de exam abi na de exam write me. I guess I'll know when I see the results.
I've just had a whole lot going through my mind...a lot of random thoughts that I can't seem to collect. I started writing a post three times last week, and I just couldn't seem to get anything together, so I deleted the posts. I've decided just keep typing and see what comes of it.
I've been very sad about my dad's sister-in-law (whom I shall call MND) that passed. I wasn't close to her at all, but the few memories I have of her paint a picture of a nice, sweet lady who went through so much stress. Her husband K, my dad's half-brother, practiced polygamy (He had four wives, I think), so she already had to deal with some stress in the home. K was just following the footsteps of his father before him; My grandad married five wives, four of which had children. Obviously, my dad's family is a big one!
My Grandad was the Eze of his hometown, but the position didn't bring money with it; instead it seems to have brought strife with it. K, who was the diokpara of the family, was something of a disappointment. He was well educated, with a good job, but he drank a lot. As a result, after his death, there wasn't really much left for his wives and children to live on. MND was the youngest wife, so she seemed to be at the receiving end of a lot of hate in family. Auntie MN went through a lot of suffering, but finally my dad found a way to help her kids; sent them to school, and eventually her son made it over here to the states.
Her son, ND, has been focused in school, and he had just gotten a new job, and was ready to REALLY take care of his mum, when we received the bad news. I think what hurt us all so much is that she suffered all her life and died suffering as well. She'd been ill for a while, and none of her kids were home, so ND begged his stepmum, brothers, and sisters to take care of her. He sent every dollar he earned back home to take care of her till he could get home see her. They spent the money and did nothing for her. One of his sisters took the mum to a faith healer and felt she'd done her part. Can you imagine, everyone just stood aside and twiddled their thumbs while MND lay there dying. The first time they thought she was dead, they took her to the morgue, not the hospital, the MORGUE! After about one hour, she woke up, and they took her home (not to the hospital). The process occurred 3 more times, and finally she passed. After that they all started 'weeping and wailing'...I was so upset when I heard that, coz I cannot believe that anyone would be so callous as to see someone suffering so much and do nothing to help.
Through all this, I'm happy about one thing: She has finally been relieved from the suffering that she seemed to be embroiled in for such a major part of her life.
I'm surprised some of the things that still happen in this day and age. I guess I'm calling this post MND then....
Ka Odi Nu.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
A Quick Note...
People of Blogsville, A nam ekene unu....I know I've been away for a while....last post on July 14? I didn't think I'd been away that long. Thanks, everyone, for the advice and concern; that was REALLY nice of you all.
Like the name of this post says, this is just a quick note, to let you know that I'm still around, and I will be back soon, I just have a lot going on now. I'm juggling school, and a little work, and MCAT studying, and starting on some of my med school applications (The other schools that don't require the MCAT). A lot has happened...there was a death in my dad's family, I've been going sick with worry over my mum (200/90 BP...her doctor said...and the woman will not rest!), she isn't feeling too well, and I don't think I'll see her this year (and it'll 4 yrs in December since I saw her last). Also I have the big MCAT D-day less than two weeks from now...September 12, and I'm not prepared in the least!
So please, bear with me for about two more weeks, and I'll have an update, and catch up on what's been going on in Blogsville.
So keep me in your prayers and keep your fingers crossed for me OK?!
Ka Odi Nu.
Like the name of this post says, this is just a quick note, to let you know that I'm still around, and I will be back soon, I just have a lot going on now. I'm juggling school, and a little work, and MCAT studying, and starting on some of my med school applications (The other schools that don't require the MCAT). A lot has happened...there was a death in my dad's family, I've been going sick with worry over my mum (200/90 BP...her doctor said...and the woman will not rest!), she isn't feeling too well, and I don't think I'll see her this year (and it'll 4 yrs in December since I saw her last). Also I have the big MCAT D-day less than two weeks from now...September 12, and I'm not prepared in the least!
So please, bear with me for about two more weeks, and I'll have an update, and catch up on what's been going on in Blogsville.
So keep me in your prayers and keep your fingers crossed for me OK?!
Ka Odi Nu.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Emotional Problems?
Something I saw today made me remember something really sad....and as much as I felt emotional about it, I couldn't express my emotions. It's weird because I never can express my emotions at the "acceptable" times...I bottle them up till I feel I'll burst with them, but at the same time, I feel like I have a block of ice barely beating in my chest. The craziest thing is, I cry over ridiculous stuff like movies and books....things that I know are purely works of fiction.
I wonder if I have taken a defense mechanism too far....I long to just let it all out and be cleansed! Like five minutes ago, I felt like writing poetry, and all that has been coming to mind is "And I will piece together the broken shards of my heart again." Am I weird for that?
I think I'm just depressed...
I wonder if I have taken a defense mechanism too far....I long to just let it all out and be cleansed! Like five minutes ago, I felt like writing poetry, and all that has been coming to mind is "And I will piece together the broken shards of my heart again." Am I weird for that?
I think I'm just depressed...
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Update on pO and Work Woes....
How una dey my people? Sorry I've been MIA for a while now....I have been busier than I thought I would be...Chei, American work and MCAT wahala no go kill me!
Anyways, I'm here to update as promised oh...bear with me if I wander off topic; I just got back from work and my mind is not fully functional. Ok...where to begin....Ah yes, pO.
I had been mulling over it for a while, trying to figure out what to do about the idiot; whether I should report him or not. I talked about it with H, my other friend, and she told me to let it go; after all, A had not done anything about it. I didn't think that was the best logic, but A herself didn't want to report him since she wasn't harmed, and A said she was also thinking of his family back home. She didn't want anything to happen to him here and put his family in a bind; A is softhearted like that. pO was sooo lucky....he should thank his stars; he better not try it again. A said she also told him to back off, 'cos she wasn't playing with him anymore; Sha I've told her to make sure sh's never alone with him again. pO's brother came to visit from 9ja for a week, and during that time, A, H, and I were basically the ones who took him around and kept him entertained. Sure I was a bit irritated at first, but then, why should I blame the young man for having a useless brother? pO has stopped harassing A; He claims that she is "in love with his brother". Can you imagine that? He didn't even stop because he felt he did something wrong, but because she's in love with his brother? What an idiot.
The idiocy that pO embodies, however, has not ended. This moron called H on Saturday and told her to come over. She did so, thinking it was an emergency 'cos he made it sound that way. Before I continue, lemme give you brief background information here. H has known pO for almost 4 yrs now, and gone through "the cycle" with him. He's harassed her for a long while now, and he finally gave up when he realised she was sticking with her current boyfriend, LB; this was about 5 months ago. Then pO moved to A and you know the story. Ok, back to the gist. So H goes over, expecting to find an incapacitated pO, but no. He answers the door, looking as healthy as ever. She goes in and asks him why he called her over. pO makes her sit, then proceeds to tell her how he wants her so bad, and how they need to get together so she can "give him some." H told me she was just in shock for a while, then she reminded him that she had a boyfriend. pO's response was that "LB doesn't have to know; we can get out of this town and have a good time." At this point, H was disgusted, so she told him that he should not bother her and left. Sine then, the pervert has been blowing up her phone. The last time, yesterday, he told her to give him a response by Friday. Now she's just ignoring his calls. Can you believe the unmitigated gall of this idiot? How can one person misbehave so much? Has he no shame, flipping between close friends? And for that matter, trying to force unwanted attention on a person? Shaaz, he won't try anything physical with H because she will deal with him....she is stronger than him! Una help me see wahala?
I am not going to let pO's stupidity ruin my happiness sha. I finally got paid today! After three weeks of work with no pay, my boss came by today and handed me my paycheck...you should have seen how I was shining my teeth ehn! You can't blame me oh...my account has been dry like the Gobi desert for the past week, and all my bills have been waiting. I just found out though that my boss gave me the wrong amount of money sha....It's not his fault though, I put in the wrong amount of hours. He has promised to rectify the situation though....I can't wait to do my happy dance oh...the fruit of my labors will be well spent!
Speaking of work, I'm about to discipline someone at work oh. I told you all about BZee and SK, but I didn't tell you about HS because I hadn't met him at the time. HS's job at my workplace is basically to make copies and pull charts and do whatever else needs to be done. In all my life, I have never met such an annoying, lazy human being! He comes in to work, looks around like he plans to do something, puts his head on the desk and SLEEPS. He is being paid oh, no be say na volunteer. At first I ignored it, 'cos I figured he just didn't have anything to do at the time. But then, this human being started showing his true colors; I gave him a number of files that needed to be copied, and this warey asked me if I was going to lunch. I said "No, why?", and the mugu had the nerve to tell me that I should go do it myself because HE's about to go eat lunch; and get this, this was at 11:15. I had to be civilized, so I insisted till he did it. After that I gave him a list of files to get from the record room, and he told me, "But you still have one file there, do that first." I was taken aback oh...see me see trouble. I almost told him "Common shut up your dirty mouth and go get those files my friend!", before I calmed myself down, and with as much civility as I could muster, I insisted he get the files and he did. My red eye was threatening to show oh. Then I was reading my e-mail during lunch and I felt a presence hovering. I jumped up and nearly pulled some Jackie Chan moves, just for me to discover the same idiot HK just hovering over my shoulder. By now, my hand was beginning to itch. I sat down and continued to read my e-mail, just for me to turn and see HK reading my e-mail, comfortably with me. Then he even had the nerve to ask me stupid questions about my PERSONAL e-mails that he just read. I asked the mumu why he was reading my e-mail over my shoulder and he replied that I should "Chill out, it's not like he was doing anything wrong." See pikin when I for don born finish, if no be say na America we dey ehn....To crown it all, HK went back to sleep and said I should wake him up when I needed copies. That wasn't what annoyed me though. This boy sat with his back to me, an I was just enjoying my snack in my corner of the cubicle when I heard psss...po po po po pah! This boy had just given me 21 gun salute of mess, and just when I was trying to enjoy my snack oh! To make matters worse, the thing de smell, bad (You Indians and their spicy food). To add insult to injury, he woke up and said, "Oh. was that me?" Before nko? Him no fit identify his own toxin? Me and BZee said yes, and he replied, "I was asleep, it's not like I could control it." E be like like say dem never sound that boy well well before. I might be the one to do it. Inside my mind, I thought "If dem born you well, try me again today. You will surely see my red eye." It's like he heard my thoughts because he didn't try anything useless again throughout the week. Una for see me for evening news for child abuse. Because him think sey dem born am for America....I will soon give him some Nigerian discipline. *hiss*
I have to share this with you too oh. My supervisor at work na oyinbo girl. The type who gives evidence for the dumb blonde stereotype. I'd just met her for the first time last week, and she was trying to pronounce my name. I don't think my name is that difficult to pronounce, but then, it has been butchered so many times. Before the young lady would bite her tongue, I gave her a short version of my name, and told her not to worry, that I know my name is hard to pronounce for many here. After she insisted on continuing for a while she finally gave up and called me the nickname. After that, she proceeded to say one of the dumbest things I've heard: "Its okay. I bet the same way your name is hard is the same way my name and other English names must seem so exotic back in Africa. By the way, how long have you been here? You speak such good English for someone who just learnt it." Wth? First off, her name is Megan. Secondly, I speak better English than she does. I'm used to such comments now though, so I don't get offended. Still, that was funny.
I've gotten carried away again and written a long post. Abegi, make I go hit my books for a while before I hit the bed.
Enjoy your week!
Anyways, I'm here to update as promised oh...bear with me if I wander off topic; I just got back from work and my mind is not fully functional. Ok...where to begin....Ah yes, pO.
I had been mulling over it for a while, trying to figure out what to do about the idiot; whether I should report him or not. I talked about it with H, my other friend, and she told me to let it go; after all, A had not done anything about it. I didn't think that was the best logic, but A herself didn't want to report him since she wasn't harmed, and A said she was also thinking of his family back home. She didn't want anything to happen to him here and put his family in a bind; A is softhearted like that. pO was sooo lucky....he should thank his stars; he better not try it again. A said she also told him to back off, 'cos she wasn't playing with him anymore; Sha I've told her to make sure sh's never alone with him again. pO's brother came to visit from 9ja for a week, and during that time, A, H, and I were basically the ones who took him around and kept him entertained. Sure I was a bit irritated at first, but then, why should I blame the young man for having a useless brother? pO has stopped harassing A; He claims that she is "in love with his brother". Can you imagine that? He didn't even stop because he felt he did something wrong, but because she's in love with his brother? What an idiot.
The idiocy that pO embodies, however, has not ended. This moron called H on Saturday and told her to come over. She did so, thinking it was an emergency 'cos he made it sound that way. Before I continue, lemme give you brief background information here. H has known pO for almost 4 yrs now, and gone through "the cycle" with him. He's harassed her for a long while now, and he finally gave up when he realised she was sticking with her current boyfriend, LB; this was about 5 months ago. Then pO moved to A and you know the story. Ok, back to the gist. So H goes over, expecting to find an incapacitated pO, but no. He answers the door, looking as healthy as ever. She goes in and asks him why he called her over. pO makes her sit, then proceeds to tell her how he wants her so bad, and how they need to get together so she can "give him some." H told me she was just in shock for a while, then she reminded him that she had a boyfriend. pO's response was that "LB doesn't have to know; we can get out of this town and have a good time." At this point, H was disgusted, so she told him that he should not bother her and left. Sine then, the pervert has been blowing up her phone. The last time, yesterday, he told her to give him a response by Friday. Now she's just ignoring his calls. Can you believe the unmitigated gall of this idiot? How can one person misbehave so much? Has he no shame, flipping between close friends? And for that matter, trying to force unwanted attention on a person? Shaaz, he won't try anything physical with H because she will deal with him....she is stronger than him! Una help me see wahala?
I am not going to let pO's stupidity ruin my happiness sha. I finally got paid today! After three weeks of work with no pay, my boss came by today and handed me my paycheck...you should have seen how I was shining my teeth ehn! You can't blame me oh...my account has been dry like the Gobi desert for the past week, and all my bills have been waiting. I just found out though that my boss gave me the wrong amount of money sha....It's not his fault though, I put in the wrong amount of hours. He has promised to rectify the situation though....I can't wait to do my happy dance oh...the fruit of my labors will be well spent!
Speaking of work, I'm about to discipline someone at work oh. I told you all about BZee and SK, but I didn't tell you about HS because I hadn't met him at the time. HS's job at my workplace is basically to make copies and pull charts and do whatever else needs to be done. In all my life, I have never met such an annoying, lazy human being! He comes in to work, looks around like he plans to do something, puts his head on the desk and SLEEPS. He is being paid oh, no be say na volunteer. At first I ignored it, 'cos I figured he just didn't have anything to do at the time. But then, this human being started showing his true colors; I gave him a number of files that needed to be copied, and this warey asked me if I was going to lunch. I said "No, why?", and the mugu had the nerve to tell me that I should go do it myself because HE's about to go eat lunch; and get this, this was at 11:15. I had to be civilized, so I insisted till he did it. After that I gave him a list of files to get from the record room, and he told me, "But you still have one file there, do that first." I was taken aback oh...see me see trouble. I almost told him "Common shut up your dirty mouth and go get those files my friend!", before I calmed myself down, and with as much civility as I could muster, I insisted he get the files and he did. My red eye was threatening to show oh. Then I was reading my e-mail during lunch and I felt a presence hovering. I jumped up and nearly pulled some Jackie Chan moves, just for me to discover the same idiot HK just hovering over my shoulder. By now, my hand was beginning to itch. I sat down and continued to read my e-mail, just for me to turn and see HK reading my e-mail, comfortably with me. Then he even had the nerve to ask me stupid questions about my PERSONAL e-mails that he just read. I asked the mumu why he was reading my e-mail over my shoulder and he replied that I should "Chill out, it's not like he was doing anything wrong." See pikin when I for don born finish, if no be say na America we dey ehn....To crown it all, HK went back to sleep and said I should wake him up when I needed copies. That wasn't what annoyed me though. This boy sat with his back to me, an I was just enjoying my snack in my corner of the cubicle when I heard psss...po po po po pah! This boy had just given me 21 gun salute of mess, and just when I was trying to enjoy my snack oh! To make matters worse, the thing de smell, bad (You Indians and their spicy food). To add insult to injury, he woke up and said, "Oh. was that me?" Before nko? Him no fit identify his own toxin? Me and BZee said yes, and he replied, "I was asleep, it's not like I could control it." E be like like say dem never sound that boy well well before. I might be the one to do it. Inside my mind, I thought "If dem born you well, try me again today. You will surely see my red eye." It's like he heard my thoughts because he didn't try anything useless again throughout the week. Una for see me for evening news for child abuse. Because him think sey dem born am for America....I will soon give him some Nigerian discipline. *hiss*
I have to share this with you too oh. My supervisor at work na oyinbo girl. The type who gives evidence for the dumb blonde stereotype. I'd just met her for the first time last week, and she was trying to pronounce my name. I don't think my name is that difficult to pronounce, but then, it has been butchered so many times. Before the young lady would bite her tongue, I gave her a short version of my name, and told her not to worry, that I know my name is hard to pronounce for many here. After she insisted on continuing for a while she finally gave up and called me the nickname. After that, she proceeded to say one of the dumbest things I've heard: "Its okay. I bet the same way your name is hard is the same way my name and other English names must seem so exotic back in Africa. By the way, how long have you been here? You speak such good English for someone who just learnt it." Wth? First off, her name is Megan. Secondly, I speak better English than she does. I'm used to such comments now though, so I don't get offended. Still, that was funny.
I've gotten carried away again and written a long post. Abegi, make I go hit my books for a while before I hit the bed.
Enjoy your week!
Friday, June 20, 2008
My Week...
Well It's time for my weekly break....I feel like I've been going crazy this week, no time for any rest! Well, I started my internship this week, and already I've met the craziest people...There is BZee, the most GAYEST (I know it's wrong, just doing this for emphasis), who thought he was deceiving me about his sexuality at first...Abi did he see feeding bottle in my mouth? Sha he finally admitted the truth yesterday; Not that he had to tell me, because we had a whole discussion about shoes, and he has the most effeminate gestures ever, so my gaydar was tingling! He is actually the sweetest person ever, and he has changed some of my perceptions about gay people (Just being honest here, don't hate). Then, there is SK, who basically told me his whole life story within 10 minutes of our knowing each other...I don't know if I have something on my forehead that makes people want to tell me everything; maybe I should become a therapist? Anyway I digress. SK is really nice as well, but he has been delighting in giving me excess information, and I doubt both of them know what personal space, but it's cool 'cos they're nice.
I got the weirdest call on wednesday. Some dude called me up, and after speaking unintelligibly for some time, he asked me who was speaking. How do you call someone and ask them who's speaking? I promptly hung up. The same dude called with a different number, then proceeded to tell me my name and tell me how I gave him my number earlier that day. Seeing as I had been busy with work all day, and I had not given any one my number that day, I had to wonder what was going on. Of course I told the dude I did no such thing. I though the episode was over, but noooo... The idiot decided to keep texting me. Finally I asked the moron to to tell me his identity and stop bugging me; apparently that was a bad thing to do. This idiot is gonna call me, all emotional, talking about how I'm a tease; that I probably just go around giving ppl my # and he basically ended up implying dat I was a ho. Lekwanu mu ihu nsogbu...For that, I basically gave him a prescription for some balls and told him to quickly lose my number. I'm not a rude person...he just ticked me off, and he picked the worst moment to do it too...I was very stressed out at the time! By the way, I still don't know it was.
Make una hold me oh...I will soon kill somebody for this country. The soon-to-be victim is this overgrown moron whom I'll call pO. This useless idiot is a frickin' pervert, and I've been trying to ignore him but over the last week he really has been stomping on my last nerve. He's my friends' friend, he always kinda got on my nerves; you know all these local champions who think they're the s**t but really aren't? That's pO right there. Anyways, this dude has developed an obsession with each of the aforementioned friends, but now he's really obsessed with one of them, A. The idiot has been calling A's phone and making obscene statements like "When I get you alone I will deal with you...I will f*** u till ur a** tears." That already put me off; I hate such people. This man is married with a child, but he has left his wife and child in 9ja so that he -in his words- can "enjoy life and play around". That's not my issue though. Last week he went overboard, physically hurting her. If I had not stepped into the house when I had, I probably would have been dealing with a case of rape. Now given my history, you can understand why he is particularly revolting to me can't you? He knows I detest him too, 'cos everytime he sees me now he always asks me why I hate him (Like he does not know)....It's on! He just messed with the wrong one...
Moving on from that idiot (I swear he puts me in a terrible state of mind)....My daddy decided to help me out. Yay! Now I'm car hunting....hoping I get one soon.
After all the craziness of this week, I'm just glad it's friday...at least I can rest a little bit. Okay I take that back...I haven't really done any studying this week so I will definitely be immersed in my books.
Well, I'm off to listen to some mellow music and enjoy my evening...the studying can resume tomorrow. Have a lovely evening people!
I got the weirdest call on wednesday. Some dude called me up, and after speaking unintelligibly for some time, he asked me who was speaking. How do you call someone and ask them who's speaking? I promptly hung up. The same dude called with a different number, then proceeded to tell me my name and tell me how I gave him my number earlier that day. Seeing as I had been busy with work all day, and I had not given any one my number that day, I had to wonder what was going on. Of course I told the dude I did no such thing. I though the episode was over, but noooo... The idiot decided to keep texting me. Finally I asked the moron to to tell me his identity and stop bugging me; apparently that was a bad thing to do. This idiot is gonna call me, all emotional, talking about how I'm a tease; that I probably just go around giving ppl my # and he basically ended up implying dat I was a ho. Lekwanu mu ihu nsogbu...For that, I basically gave him a prescription for some balls and told him to quickly lose my number. I'm not a rude person...he just ticked me off, and he picked the worst moment to do it too...I was very stressed out at the time! By the way, I still don't know it was.
Make una hold me oh...I will soon kill somebody for this country. The soon-to-be victim is this overgrown moron whom I'll call pO. This useless idiot is a frickin' pervert, and I've been trying to ignore him but over the last week he really has been stomping on my last nerve. He's my friends' friend, he always kinda got on my nerves; you know all these local champions who think they're the s**t but really aren't? That's pO right there. Anyways, this dude has developed an obsession with each of the aforementioned friends, but now he's really obsessed with one of them, A. The idiot has been calling A's phone and making obscene statements like "When I get you alone I will deal with you...I will f*** u till ur a** tears." That already put me off; I hate such people. This man is married with a child, but he has left his wife and child in 9ja so that he -in his words- can "enjoy life and play around". That's not my issue though. Last week he went overboard, physically hurting her. If I had not stepped into the house when I had, I probably would have been dealing with a case of rape. Now given my history, you can understand why he is particularly revolting to me can't you? He knows I detest him too, 'cos everytime he sees me now he always asks me why I hate him (Like he does not know)....It's on! He just messed with the wrong one...
Moving on from that idiot (I swear he puts me in a terrible state of mind)....My daddy decided to help me out. Yay! Now I'm car hunting....hoping I get one soon.
After all the craziness of this week, I'm just glad it's friday...at least I can rest a little bit. Okay I take that back...I haven't really done any studying this week so I will definitely be immersed in my books.
Well, I'm off to listen to some mellow music and enjoy my evening...the studying can resume tomorrow. Have a lovely evening people!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
On Relationships....
Hi ppl! Taking a break from my infernal MCAT studying, so o course I had to come do what makes me happy: Blog!
Lately, I've begun to notice that I'm receiving some attention. This is extremely weird for me 'cos I've always been the one who couldn't care less about her appearance, the tomboy, one of the guys. This is simply because I grew up with a whole lotta males and I tried so hard to emulate them...my father despaired while I was growing up, always saying that it seemed he'd been stuck with four sons instead of three. There's a little change now, thanks to some determined friends and aunts (they still haven't gotten to my inner tomboy; they just think they have ;) ). Neways, I stray from the subject.
I feel the same, I mean I haven't changed...still the semi-nerdy, roly poly olie, not the most attractive girl in the bunch. The only thing that I've changed in the past month is that I'm now wearing contacts instead of glasses, and I don't believe that made such a dramatic change in my appearance. The worst thing is, I seemed to be asked out by the wrongest people; I'm not being shallow here, nothing to do with looks either; case in point: the latest "winner" is some dude whose idea of complimenting a girl is giving her an extra piece of bacon in her burger; bacon, I might add, that he has burnt horribly! See what I'm working with here?
Honestly, I know nothing about relationships. I have NEVER been in a relationship, never been kissed (I kid you not, unless you count a chaste peck on the cheek from my crush as a kiss), and obviously a virgin. I'm not weird or anything, I just had a love-hate relationship with men. Truth is I was molested as a child....and twice for that matter.
You know what, I will have to continue this later. I really have to go. I will be back to continue this soon though.
Lately, I've begun to notice that I'm receiving some attention. This is extremely weird for me 'cos I've always been the one who couldn't care less about her appearance, the tomboy, one of the guys. This is simply because I grew up with a whole lotta males and I tried so hard to emulate them...my father despaired while I was growing up, always saying that it seemed he'd been stuck with four sons instead of three. There's a little change now, thanks to some determined friends and aunts (they still haven't gotten to my inner tomboy; they just think they have ;) ). Neways, I stray from the subject.
I feel the same, I mean I haven't changed...still the semi-nerdy, roly poly olie, not the most attractive girl in the bunch. The only thing that I've changed in the past month is that I'm now wearing contacts instead of glasses, and I don't believe that made such a dramatic change in my appearance. The worst thing is, I seemed to be asked out by the wrongest people; I'm not being shallow here, nothing to do with looks either; case in point: the latest "winner" is some dude whose idea of complimenting a girl is giving her an extra piece of bacon in her burger; bacon, I might add, that he has burnt horribly! See what I'm working with here?
Honestly, I know nothing about relationships. I have NEVER been in a relationship, never been kissed (I kid you not, unless you count a chaste peck on the cheek from my crush as a kiss), and obviously a virgin. I'm not weird or anything, I just had a love-hate relationship with men. Truth is I was molested as a child....and twice for that matter.
You know what, I will have to continue this later. I really have to go. I will be back to continue this soon though.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Random...
Hey people!
Been away for a while again...sorry abeg, I've just been involved in intense studying for my MCAT...I'll be taking it in august, so I'm trying to get serious. I shall get there one day oh...Ami.
I just got an internship that I've been hoping and praying I'd get. Thank God. Now I'm trying to see if I can sweet talk my dad into getting me a car. Nothing big you see; just a lil' sumn to take me from point A to point B. I've been taking my driving lessons faithfully, so don't worry, the civilians are safe. I'm tired of catching the bus and dealing with all the kolo people I seem to be meeting there daily.
Speaking of that....I seem to be meeting all kinds of characters these days because of that bus. Just last week, a lady got on the bus and sat across from me. She noticed I was reading an MCAT biology book and apparently decided that qualified me as a doctor. This woman proceeded to chronicle every ache and pain she had encountered for the past ten years while asking what she should do about them. Abegi, see me see wahala. She said she was on her way to her doctor, so I tried to get her to keep her questions for the doctor. I mean, any one I knew something about, I'd help out with, but still. To make matters worse, we were headed in the same direction, so after getting off the bus, I still had to endure about 20 more minutes of her company...she walked extra slow and scolded me if I started to walk faster...I be her pikin?
Then there's the old man on my street who is stalking me. He makes sure he is on the porch at the time I'll pass by his house, and last time he decided to tell me he even knows my routine. I even stayed an hour late last time to throw him off, but no luck. I don de hold pepper spray oh...I don't trust him.
If I continue today, I won't even finish. To add insult to injury, the stupid bus passes by each route once every hour, and stops running at 6pm.
I'm off to go speak with popsie. Wish me luck!
Been away for a while again...sorry abeg, I've just been involved in intense studying for my MCAT...I'll be taking it in august, so I'm trying to get serious. I shall get there one day oh...Ami.
I just got an internship that I've been hoping and praying I'd get. Thank God. Now I'm trying to see if I can sweet talk my dad into getting me a car. Nothing big you see; just a lil' sumn to take me from point A to point B. I've been taking my driving lessons faithfully, so don't worry, the civilians are safe. I'm tired of catching the bus and dealing with all the kolo people I seem to be meeting there daily.
Speaking of that....I seem to be meeting all kinds of characters these days because of that bus. Just last week, a lady got on the bus and sat across from me. She noticed I was reading an MCAT biology book and apparently decided that qualified me as a doctor. This woman proceeded to chronicle every ache and pain she had encountered for the past ten years while asking what she should do about them. Abegi, see me see wahala. She said she was on her way to her doctor, so I tried to get her to keep her questions for the doctor. I mean, any one I knew something about, I'd help out with, but still. To make matters worse, we were headed in the same direction, so after getting off the bus, I still had to endure about 20 more minutes of her company...she walked extra slow and scolded me if I started to walk faster...I be her pikin?
Then there's the old man on my street who is stalking me. He makes sure he is on the porch at the time I'll pass by his house, and last time he decided to tell me he even knows my routine. I even stayed an hour late last time to throw him off, but no luck. I don de hold pepper spray oh...I don't trust him.
If I continue today, I won't even finish. To add insult to injury, the stupid bus passes by each route once every hour, and stops running at 6pm.
I'm off to go speak with popsie. Wish me luck!
Friday, May 23, 2008
No Dogs Allowed...
First of all, sorry I've been away for a bit...I don't have internet at home at the moment, so I am doomed to only using internet while at work (it's just an on-campus job, so no biggies)...the thing too get wahala sha. 
After my terrible experience with a terrible (and huge) dog in the neighbourhood, I have decided that this sign shall be posted on the door of my apartment, and if possible, carried around on my person. I mean, can't I walk home in peace? I was almost hit by a car while trying to dodge this dog that nearly jumped over the fence to attack me. I know what I'm about to say sounds morbid, but seriously, wetin they for write for my obituary? "Na dog kill am?" God forbid bad thing!
Anyways, I decided that to explain why I have this deep rooted fear of dogs. It dates back, almost like everything horrible in my life, to boarding school. Seriously, almost everything horrible in my life ties back to boarding school or some educational institution. Neways, back to the story.
On this fateful day, in 1998, I woke up a happy JSS 2 student, innocently singing my songs, doing my chores and getting ready to go to class. We had some water scarcity then and if you didn't get water from out of town, you probably wouldn't have enough water to take care of important matters. The seniors in my dorm had decided to implement a "serving" system whereby juniors were assigned to senior students and had to do everything for them: fetch them water, lay their beds, wash their dishes, carry their books to class...you get the picture. Unfortunately for me, I was assigned to the most wicked senior in the dorm whom I shall call R.
R always delighted in making my life hell. That is just a story for another day though....I'll never get to the point at this rate! On this fine harmattan morning, I was enjoying myself like I said, until R summoned me to her corner. Apparently, she didn't get the water I had fetched her the previous day (that I carried for a long distance, with chest pain, I wasn't supposed to be doing that), so my reward that morning was 1 hot slap, orders to go get her water, and promises of more punishment after school that afternoon (Story of my life).
So, I set off with my iron bucket (R would never give me a bucket!) to fetch water from the well near our principal's house. Our principal had 5 dogs, and our vice principal had 1 demented dog that was worse than all the 5 dogs put together. I got to the well and started trying to get a little water out...the well was so dry! When I finally managed to get 3/4 of a bucket full, I was preparing to carry the water to the dorm (I was so skinny, It took preparation), when I heard a low growl. I still carried the water and started walking as fast as possible away from there...I didn't want to face R's wrath. Then I heard like footsteps and I broke into a run...
All 6 dogs were chasing me! I finally figured screw R and flung away the bucket and REALLY ran...even my sandal were thrown away... I fell into a gutter, scraped my knees and elbows, and still had one dog knock me down and stand inches away from my face....I was terrified! Luckily, after that they all left, but that scarred me for life...since then I've been deathly scared of dogs.
To add insult to injury, I got to the dorm and R gave me one more slap for not fetching her water (she didn't care about the bruises I was carrying), and she spent the whole afternoon giving me every imaginable corporal punishment from "think about your boyfriend" to "agama agama" to "pick pin." I just had a rough day.
Now you all see where I'm coming from eh? How can you now blame me for wanting to put up my sign...I'll probably also play the "No Dogs Allowed" song from Snoopy (I know, cartoon addict).
I have to go my people, if not my bus will leave me. Enjoy your weekend!
Ka Odi Nu
Friday, May 9, 2008
Tag....I'm It!
Original mgbeke, I now understand that you really like to learn about people...lol. Well, I've been tagged people and here are the rules...
Rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged
Chei, wat will I now say...I pretty much said everything in my "about me" post. Here it goes:
6 Quirks...
1. I cannot stand broken noodles. I know this is weird, but whenever I make noodles, I don't break them or I won't eat it. My friends just let me make my own noodles now :)
2. I have to have all the necessary stationary when going to class. I hate drawing a line without a ruler, and I hate being in math or physics without a calculator. My friends think I'm so weird because of that....I always have reserves just to make sure I'm not in a "situation" ...It has helped the friends in question numerous times too.
3. I frequently burst into song....in boarding school this got me in soooo much trouble. I can't help it though....when I'm happy, I sing; when I'm sad, I sing; after crying, I sing; In the shower, during a lecture....you get the picture!
4. I hate it when people tell me I listen to "White music". So music has race? Just because I have great taste in music...
5. I'm very much afraid of dogs! I'd rather take an exceedingly long route to my destination if it means I'll avoid coming in contact with a dog. My encounter with 5 dogs in boarding school scarred me for life. Ironically, the neighborhood I live in is Dogville, USA. Ndi Ocha and their "children", always striking fear in my heart...my days of leisurely evening strolls are over...*sigh*
6. I keep my schoolwork exceedingly neat...I can't stand looking at shabby notes...I'd rather take the time out to rewrite my notes and have it looking acceptable to me. My room, on the other hand, is best described as an "organized jungle." It's very messy, but I know where everything is. My friends and family find it amazing that I can keep schoolwork so neat, but can't do the same with my room...they've given up....
Well, thats all. That was actually more difficult than I thought it would be.
Disclaimer: I don't have OCD, and I'm not neurotic. I just like things to be done in a certain way.
:)
Emm....I tag aphrodite, because she's the only one that I know who hasn't been tagged.
Rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged
Chei, wat will I now say...I pretty much said everything in my "about me" post. Here it goes:
6 Quirks...
1. I cannot stand broken noodles. I know this is weird, but whenever I make noodles, I don't break them or I won't eat it. My friends just let me make my own noodles now :)
2. I have to have all the necessary stationary when going to class. I hate drawing a line without a ruler, and I hate being in math or physics without a calculator. My friends think I'm so weird because of that....I always have reserves just to make sure I'm not in a "situation" ...It has helped the friends in question numerous times too.
3. I frequently burst into song....in boarding school this got me in soooo much trouble. I can't help it though....when I'm happy, I sing; when I'm sad, I sing; after crying, I sing; In the shower, during a lecture....you get the picture!
4. I hate it when people tell me I listen to "White music". So music has race? Just because I have great taste in music...
5. I'm very much afraid of dogs! I'd rather take an exceedingly long route to my destination if it means I'll avoid coming in contact with a dog. My encounter with 5 dogs in boarding school scarred me for life. Ironically, the neighborhood I live in is Dogville, USA. Ndi Ocha and their "children", always striking fear in my heart...my days of leisurely evening strolls are over...*sigh*
6. I keep my schoolwork exceedingly neat...I can't stand looking at shabby notes...I'd rather take the time out to rewrite my notes and have it looking acceptable to me. My room, on the other hand, is best described as an "organized jungle." It's very messy, but I know where everything is. My friends and family find it amazing that I can keep schoolwork so neat, but can't do the same with my room...they've given up....
Well, thats all. That was actually more difficult than I thought it would be.
Disclaimer: I don't have OCD, and I'm not neurotic. I just like things to be done in a certain way.
:)
Emm....I tag aphrodite, because she's the only one that I know who hasn't been tagged.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
About Me...
I'm the biggest fan of blogs, although I usually love to read them...I spend countless hours lazily living vicariously through others! Seeing as I have decided to become one of the ones typing instead of reading, I thought it would be best to introduce myself first.
I just thought I'd try to describe myself...I usually can't do this 'cos I just don't feel that comfortable with it...In fact, I usually avoid all the "about me" sections 'cos I hate having to describe myself; I feel others should just get to know me and form opinions for themselves. Anyways,I'm doing this 'cos I feel it'll help me assess how I truly perceive myself. So, here it goes: I love to read and I love music. My taste in practically everything can be best described as eclectic. I'm loud sometimes, and I'm talkative, but only around people I really know. I used to be really shy , but i think I'm really overcoming that. I am not afraid to ask questions, because I need to have a clear understanding of whatever is being discussed. I've been told I'm a good listener; I don't think I'm the best person to give out advice though. If you need to vent though, I'm all ears. I get bored easily, and I constantly try to think of new thing to do. I've tried everything from learning the Greek and Hebrew alphabets to Origami (which I wasn't very good at!). I'm thinking of scrapbooking now. I wish I could speak more languages, and I really want to learn how to speak French and Mandarin (and maybe Spanish 'cos it would come in handy).
I have discovered that I actually like reading poetry, and I try to write some poetry as well. I daydream a lot (I've been told a lot of times that I'm in my own little world!). I love word games and card games. I never learned how to ride a bike. I still can't drive. I'm scared of the dark...I have to have some kind of light on somewhere! I get a bit paranoid sometimes. I don't have a lot of close friends, but those I do have I'm fiercely loyal to, and I cherish them. I HATE crying in front of people. When I get really mad, tears fill my eyes (Not crying, they're just there). The weirdest things irritate me (and I scratch when I'm irritated): Wrinkled soybean skin, a swarm of bees/cluster of ants, (oh I'm all itchy now, gotta stop)... I've finally accepted that I'm a hopeless romantic (Hence my whole dream man wait). I have a bit of a temper sometimes, but I'm working on it. I get stressed about little things, and occasionally I get obsessed with the little details. I've been told that I'm an overachiever and a perfectionist, and I disagree with the second, but I'm perfectly fine with the first. I'm such a procrastinator, but I'm working on that too. I can be stubborn, and very opinionated about some issues. I'm not the best person to talk to about politics. I love cartoons! Everyone tells me I'm too old for them, but I feel that everyone has to be in touch with their inner child. I love to eat and experiment with different foods. I love my culture and am very proud of my roots (1000 percent omo naija!) I secretly want to be a writer/musician/star, but I'm a private person (don't let the blog deceive you) and would hate to have my privacy intruded on. I have an overactive imagination and I'm an idealist. I get hurt more easily than people think. I'm an introvert (except with my close friends), but people think otherwise. Believe me, people don't know half of what they think they know about me.
Okay, enough of the ranting...guess you all know me now , even gave out some pretty useless information...will update this list much later on...
Ka Odi nu....(Oh I forgot to tell you that I can speak my language perfectly, but I cannot write it to save my life...forgive any blunders!)
I just thought I'd try to describe myself...I usually can't do this 'cos I just don't feel that comfortable with it...In fact, I usually avoid all the "about me" sections 'cos I hate having to describe myself; I feel others should just get to know me and form opinions for themselves. Anyways,I'm doing this 'cos I feel it'll help me assess how I truly perceive myself. So, here it goes: I love to read and I love music. My taste in practically everything can be best described as eclectic. I'm loud sometimes, and I'm talkative, but only around people I really know. I used to be really shy , but i think I'm really overcoming that. I am not afraid to ask questions, because I need to have a clear understanding of whatever is being discussed. I've been told I'm a good listener; I don't think I'm the best person to give out advice though. If you need to vent though, I'm all ears. I get bored easily, and I constantly try to think of new thing to do. I've tried everything from learning the Greek and Hebrew alphabets to Origami (which I wasn't very good at!). I'm thinking of scrapbooking now. I wish I could speak more languages, and I really want to learn how to speak French and Mandarin (and maybe Spanish 'cos it would come in handy).
I have discovered that I actually like reading poetry, and I try to write some poetry as well. I daydream a lot (I've been told a lot of times that I'm in my own little world!). I love word games and card games. I never learned how to ride a bike. I still can't drive. I'm scared of the dark...I have to have some kind of light on somewhere! I get a bit paranoid sometimes. I don't have a lot of close friends, but those I do have I'm fiercely loyal to, and I cherish them. I HATE crying in front of people. When I get really mad, tears fill my eyes (Not crying, they're just there). The weirdest things irritate me (and I scratch when I'm irritated): Wrinkled soybean skin, a swarm of bees/cluster of ants, (oh I'm all itchy now, gotta stop)... I've finally accepted that I'm a hopeless romantic (Hence my whole dream man wait). I have a bit of a temper sometimes, but I'm working on it. I get stressed about little things, and occasionally I get obsessed with the little details. I've been told that I'm an overachiever and a perfectionist, and I disagree with the second, but I'm perfectly fine with the first. I'm such a procrastinator, but I'm working on that too. I can be stubborn, and very opinionated about some issues. I'm not the best person to talk to about politics. I love cartoons! Everyone tells me I'm too old for them, but I feel that everyone has to be in touch with their inner child. I love to eat and experiment with different foods. I love my culture and am very proud of my roots (1000 percent omo naija!) I secretly want to be a writer/musician/star, but I'm a private person (don't let the blog deceive you) and would hate to have my privacy intruded on. I have an overactive imagination and I'm an idealist. I get hurt more easily than people think. I'm an introvert (except with my close friends), but people think otherwise. Believe me, people don't know half of what they think they know about me.
Okay, enough of the ranting...guess you all know me now , even gave out some pretty useless information...will update this list much later on...
Ka Odi nu....(Oh I forgot to tell you that I can speak my language perfectly, but I cannot write it to save my life...forgive any blunders!)
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